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Writing Samples
Band 7

In order to solve traffic problems, goverments should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

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Although
Linking Words
 it is believed that extra taxing for private car drivers is detrimental
to
Change preposition
apply
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, I hold the conviction that
this
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 enforcement can play a beneficial role in solving the traffic issues. On the one hand, a group of people assert that private
cars
Use synonyms
 are an inseparable part of society
due to
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 the fact that an overwhelming majority of citizens are white collars, and their demands for convenient travel cannot be overlooked. Had employees spent their time commuting, it would be a significant dissatisfaction as they
work
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 all day long and they must spend a considerable
amount
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 of time going to
work
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 and returning home.
Therefore
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, private
cars
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 should be accepted as a required facility for citizens, and they must not incur excess taxes.
For instance
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, in Turkey, many individuals
work
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 in Istanbul, a metropolis,
while
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 they reside in the suburbs and find it more comfortable
as well as
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 less time-consuming to arrive at
work
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 driving their own
cars
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instead
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 of catching buses, trains, or other kinds of public transport.
However
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, other groups of individuals claim that the increasing
number
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 of
cars
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, especially personal ones, is one of the most remarkable reasons for air pollution, traffic congestion, and environmental damage.
Hence
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, it is essential that governments determine superior amounts of tax for private
cars
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, which leads to a lower
amount
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 of private vehicle utilization and a higher
amount
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 of public transport use.
Moreover
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, a tremendous
amount
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 of these taxes can be employed to improve the status of public transportation, encompassing modernizing buses, undergrounds, and even taxis, which causes citizens to take them more frequently. Let us take Japan, a developed country that has modern, clean, and convenient public transport, as an example in which a significant
number
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 of workers commute to
work
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 using the metro, bus, and taxi as they declare that they are able to catch their destinations without wasting time sticking in a traffic jam. In conclusion, after considering the above-mentioned points and both notions, I am inclined to believe that, governments must take the responsibility of lessening the amounts that private
cars
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 are driven.
Accordingly
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, imposing extra tax is one of the appropriate solutions to decrease the
number
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 of private
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cars
Change the noun form
car
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 users
as well as
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 increase the quality of public transportation and the
number
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 of those who prefer using that.

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Structural Balance
Focus more on providing balanced coverage for both advantages and disadvantages within your argument structure.
Grammar & Accuracy
Watch out for small grammatical errors and strive for accuracy in your sentence structures.
Linking Words Usage
Use a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow between ideas and sections of your essay.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples to support arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay.
Vocabulary Range
Demonstration of a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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