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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #life #countryside
Some are of the opinion that life in towns is far more advantageous than life in rural areas.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement because
cities
 provide job opportunities and access to various
services
. One of the primary reasons why
cities
 offer a better life is because of the abundance of career prospects.
In other words
, compared to villages,
cities
 have much higher employment which allows
people
 to work in different sectors. It means that a person from a village might not have greater options when it comes to finding a job.
Also
,
people
 are able to advance in their careers much faster in
cities
 and have more opportunities to get promoted.
For example
, in Kazakhstan, there are no career opportunities for jobs
such
 as surgeons or programmers in villages since they do not have the right infrastructure. The next reason why there are more benefits of living in
cities
 is access to different
services
. One of these
services
 is high-quality healthcare. The residents of the
cities
 are able to get quick and better help in
hospitals
 than in rural areas.
This
 is because there are many choices of types of
hospitals
 and their internal healthcare support for
people
. As an example, in Almaty, there are more than 100
hospitals
, which have a wide range of
services
 and can help to treat a variety of illnesses,
such
 as eye, allergy and other problems.
Whereas
,
people
, who live in small towns have to go to other places/
cities
, because of lack of the
hospitals
 there.
Submitted by kalelkkhana on

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Introduction Enhancement
Consider expanding your essay with a brief introduction of the topic before stating your agreement. This can provide a smoother entry into the discussion.
Argument Depth
While your argument is well-supported, adding a contrasting viewpoint before concluding your own perspective could further strengthen your essay.
Conclusion Enhancement
Make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly, providing a satisfying closure to your essay.
Sentence Variation
Your essay is well-structured, but varying sentence structures and transitions could enhance readability and flow.
Effective Examples
Your use of specific examples, such as the comparison of healthcare facilities between cities and rural areas, effectively supports your arguments.
Clear Argumentation
You have clearly articulated the benefits of city life over countryside living, making your arguments compelling and persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
What to do next:
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