People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Advances in medicine and healthier lifestyles mean that
people
are living longer, and many countries have ageing populations.
This
creates challenges for
governments
in supporting a growing number of older
people
.
This
essay will look at the effects of
this
problem and suggest possible ways that
governments
can manage it. The issue of
people
living longer has serious effects on
governments
, taxpayers, and the elderly. It is usually left to the
government
to support older retired members of the population.
This
places pressure on taxpayers who provide
this
money to the
government
and can
also
leave older
people
feeling that they are no longer contributing to society. Elderly
people
also
need a higher level of care and medical assistance, so
governments
with ageing populations need to spend large amounts on health services
such
as hospitals, nursing homes and in-home care.
However
, practical solutions to these problems can be found.
Governments
could increase the retirement age and encourage
people
to stay at work longer.
This
would reduce the number of
people
who rely on
government
support as their main source of income and would provide the elderly with a greater sense of purpose. It
also
means that with
people
working for longer, the
government
would receive extra tax revenue, which they could use to fund more health care services for older
people
. In conclusion, ageing populations put pressure on
governments
and taxpayers, but by encouraging
people
to stay at work longer,
governments
can reduce the effects of
this
problem.
This
is an important measure to ensure
governments
are taking responsibility for the health and well-being of their
people
.
Submitted by Writing8 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, you could mention a country where increasing the retirement age has had positive outcomes.
task achievement
To make the essay even more compelling, consider addressing and refuting a potential counterargument. For instance, some believe that increasing the retirement age might not be feasible for certain physically demanding jobs.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. This can enhance the overall flow and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You present clear and comprehensive ideas regarding the issue of ageing populations and provide reasonable solutions.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, contributing to a coherent flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • healthcare systems
  • long-term care
  • pension schemes
  • social security
  • retirement benefits
  • assisted living
  • workforce
  • immigration policies
  • home automation
  • mobility aids
  • telemedicine
  • geriatric care
  • fertility rates
  • child care assistance
  • parental leave
  • urban planning
  • public transportation
  • preventative care
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