Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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In many parts of the world, several people think that financial freedom can bring happiness. It is true, that

money

can change the lifestyle of an individual. For the following reasons. Is

this

a positive development? First of all, having a lot of

money

can enjoy a luxurious lifestyle, because with a

coin

we can explore or travel to another place, like go on holiday to beautiful places around the world, and try new cuisines, or learn new cultures.

Besides

, having enough

money

to make a work-life balance, they can manage their

coin

to running own businesses or use the

coin

for other needs.

For example

, financial freedom makes more choices and is not a difficult thing to buy luxury or branded products,

such

as Rolex Watch, BMW Car, etc.

This

good way to appreciate themself helps boost their mood and is beneficial to keep their mental well-being.

Secondly

, financial freedom is good for humanity's kindness, with

coin

we can help society in the world, but several people can not get good health and education.

However

, it will help their individual to achieve their dreams in the future, which means, that health and study place are extremely important roles, and building the school will bring new life or experience to take opportunities in the future.

For instance

, the education field is extremely vital for several humanity who live in the countryside, and they are entitled to get access to school/college.

This

is one of the best policies for the good of the rich. In conclusion, having a lot of

money

is pivotal to developing life, because it makes an individual happy and motivated.

Submitted by arniaqlina44 on Mon Aug 26 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly states what will be discussed in the essay. The current introduction is a bit unclear about the direction the essay will take.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure of your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details.

coherence cohesion

Use transitional phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs for better flow.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt and provides specific examples to illustrate points.

task achievement

There is a clear effort to cover multiple viewpoints, acknowledging both the benefits and potential positive actions resulting from financial freedom.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion succinctly wraps up the main points of the essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantage of this is outweigh the Like disadvantages?

More and more people are now working remotely from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries, the no. of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion