Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

In many parts of the world, several people think that financial freedom can bring happiness. It is true, that
money
can change the lifestyle of an individual. For the following reasons. Is
this
a positive development? First of all, having a lot of
money
can enjoy a luxurious lifestyle, because with a
coin
we can explore or travel to another place, like go on holiday to beautiful places around the world, and try new cuisines, or learn new cultures.
Besides
, having enough
money
to make a work-life balance, they can manage their
coin
to running own businesses or use the
coin
for other needs.
For example
, financial freedom makes more choices and is not a difficult thing to buy luxury or branded products,
such
as Rolex Watch, BMW Car, etc.
This
good way to appreciate themself helps boost their mood and is beneficial to keep their mental well-being.
Secondly
, financial freedom is good for humanity's kindness, with
coin
we can help society in the world, but several people can not get good health and education.
However
, it will help their individual to achieve their dreams in the future, which means, that health and study place are extremely important roles, and building the school will bring new life or experience to take opportunities in the future.
For instance
, the education field is extremely vital for several humanity who live in the countryside, and they are entitled to get access to school/college.
This
is one of the best policies for the good of the rich. In conclusion, having a lot of
money
is pivotal to developing life, because it makes an individual happy and motivated.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states what will be discussed in the essay. The current introduction is a bit unclear about the direction the essay will take.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt and provides specific examples to illustrate points.
task achievement
There is a clear effort to cover multiple viewpoints, acknowledging both the benefits and potential positive actions resulting from financial freedom.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly wraps up the main points of the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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