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Writing Samples
Band 7

Shopping habits depend more on your age group than anything else. To what extent do you agree or disagree? write 250 words

#habits #age #group
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There is no denying the fact that shopping is a pivotal
activity
 in our lives.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that shopping
habits
 mainly rely on the
age
 group than anything else, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
 view.
To begin
 with, most
people
 like shopping, as it makes them enjoy more.
In other words
, the majority of
people
 go shopping, and shopping
habits
 among individuals are different based on their ages.
In addition
, youth go shopping more than elderly
people
, because they want to buy various things compared to old
people
.
For example
, some doctors recommend adolescents who experience depression to practice shopping, as
this
 habit will help them relieve their stress. Another point to consider is that
age
 is a crucial thing for shopping. It is possible to say children cannot go shopping alone, but their parents have to accompany them when they go shopping.
Moreover
, generally, the adolescent’s
age
 is the beginning
age
 of doing
this
activity
, because most adolescents have a tendency to discover everything new.
In contrast
, elderly
people
 do
this
activity
 at a rate, which is considered much lower than youths and adolescents.
For example
, a research paper published in the USA Independent journal that the majority of the old
age
people
 above 65 have to go shopping at least once a week, as
this
activity
 provides them with a feeling of enjoyment, and helps them get rid of health issues. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different views, I believe that shopping
habits
 are significantly affected by
age
, so youth’s shopping
habits
 are much greater than those of elderly
people
.
Submitted by sm710129 on

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Task Achievement
To enrich your argument, include a broader range of examples and evidence that illustrate your points more vividly. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of connectors to smoothly transition between ideas, enhancing the flow and readability of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion succinctly present your viewpoint and summarise your main arguments, effectively framing your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, providing a well-reasoned argument that aligns with the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preferences
  • financial capacities
  • technological savviness
  • online platforms
  • traditional in-store shopping
  • marketing and advertising
  • susceptible to trends
  • generational values
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable and ethical shopping
  • value for money
  • product longevity
  • cultural background
  • income levels
  • personal interests
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