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Band 5.5

Some people say the cars should be banned from the centers of cities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #cars #centers #cities
Nowadays, cities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
showed
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shown
show examples
 a significant increase in
cars
, and
this
 resulted in environmental
realated
Correct your spelling
related
 problems
such
 as
air
pollution
 and traffic congestion. It is believed by some
people
 that
cars
 should be prohibited from
city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with limiting the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of private
cars
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and
promoting
Verb problem
encouraging
show examples
people
 to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
. First and foremost, in recent years
cars
 showed a
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 expansion in
number
.
Due to
this
 significant increase in the
number
 of vehicles, emitting carbon dioxide
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
enivronment
Correct your spelling
environment
 causing
air
pollution
.
Therefore
, there is a negative impact on our
health
due to
pollution
. It is expected that after approximately 50 years
people
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people's
show examples
health
 will not be able to
with stand
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withstand
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this
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems caused by
air
pollution
.
Secondly
, traffic congestion is a serious problem that should be considered, and
moreover
,
transport
 delays mainly during rush hours.
City
Add an article
The city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is the main road that
connect
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connects
show examples
 the
city
 to any other place having
this
 road packed with
cars
 can
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a knock-on effect on public
transport
.
This
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in
people
 being late
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 work and
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 and
this
 can increase the level of unemployed individuals in
this
city
 and
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the
economical
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economic
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 status.
A research
Correct article usage
Research
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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carried
in
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out in
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
during
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in
show examples
 2010,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
showed that reducing the
number
 of private
vehicle
Change to a plural noun
vehicles
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 roads and increasing the
number
 of public
transport
 reduced both
air
pollution
 and
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of parking and fuel used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private car owner. In conclusion,
prohibting
Correct your spelling
prohibiting
 private
cars
 and encouraging
people
 to use public
transport
 is a very good method to preserve both money and
health
. I strongly agree with the idea of
bannding
Correct your spelling
banning
banding
blending
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in central areas to ease the
transport
 way for
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 to reach to
desired
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the desired
show examples
destenation
Correct your spelling
destination
.
Submitted by safayahia63 on

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Specific Examples
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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