IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Roads
Use synonyms
 and
railways
Use synonyms
 both are crucial parts of the communication system. It is believed that authorities must spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
railways
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of other
roads
Use synonyms
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because it may put a strain on the economy
as well as
Linking Words
 create challenges for
people
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, spending
money
Use synonyms
 only on
railways
Use synonyms
 may put pressure on economic growth.
That is
Linking Words
 to say that both tracks are essential for the development of a nation, if authorities solely focus on
railways
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 other transportation systems will be negligible as the
roads
Use synonyms
 might not be in good condition.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it will be difficult to earn
money
Use synonyms
 and support the economy.
For example
Linking Words
, in countries, like Bangladesh, the government allocate substantial amounts of
money
Use synonyms
 for both
railways
Use synonyms
 and other
roads
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 as
such
Linking Words
 they can use every transport and generate
money
Use synonyms
 as much as possible.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
railways
Use synonyms
 cannot be helpful for the
people
Use synonyms
 who live in cities
due to
Linking Words
 limited transport in the city centre.
In other words
Linking Words
, if the government invest more
money
Use synonyms
 in
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways
then
Linking Words
 it might create problems for
people
Use synonyms
 at the time when they commute as
roads
Use synonyms
 are not available or remain under development.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India, the authorities invest capital not only in
railways
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 in other
roads
Use synonyms
 as they try to mitigate the problems faced by
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the notion that the government should spend
money
Use synonyms
 only on
railways
Use synonyms
 because it might put pressure on the economic growth of a country and there is a chance to create issues for citizens.

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coherence cohesion
A more varied use of linking words could help in making transitions between ideas smoother and your argument even clearer.
task achievement
Consider integrating more specific examples or data to solidify your arguments. While general examples are provided, more detailed instances could enhance the argument's persuasive power.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly introduced the topic and presented a clear opinion in both the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, demonstrating good coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You addressed the task fully, providing a clear position throughout the essay, which is consistent with the requirements of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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