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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

SOME SCHOOL LEAVERS TEND TO GO TRAVELLING OR WORK A PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE GOING TO UNIVERSITY. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Before attending university, there is a trend of going to travel or working for an amount of
time
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.
This
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 writer believes that by having a gap year,
students
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 could gain practical experience
as well as
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 a relaxing moment for them to focus later but academic
knowledge
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 can be wiped out during
this
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time
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 and it would be hard for them to get it back. Having work to do or exploring a new place could bring them a great deal of information about their surroundings and it is a way to relieve themself. Since the characteristics of each place are different,
students
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 could interact with a new culture and develop a new aspect in themself
along with
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 that working not just becomes a new source of money but
also
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 a practical experience as the
students
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 would have to deal with authentic situations and humans. Eventually, they are highly advantageous
than
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to
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 other
students
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 because of their found in the environment around them.
For instance
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,
students
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 with economic jobs can easily work with statistics better than those who have not experienced those before. Another consideration from the negative view is that
students
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 would not remember what they learnt during their school years and it is difficult for them to study
this
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knowledge
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. As
students
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 do not use these studies
while
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 in the gap year, they tend to forget and need to tutor them again which could be an essential disadvantage they have to face.
Consequently
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, their academic scores would not be high as they do not prepare enough for the test and would need extra classes in these fields.
For example
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, formulas in mathematics are considered long and hard to memorize, they can easily be forgotten with no practice involved. In conclusion, both ways of using
time
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 have their own pros and cons which could be the replacement of academic
knowledge
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 with practical ones.
Hence
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, having a gap year could be superior as practical experiences and relaxation
time
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 are valuable
while
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 academic
knowledge
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 can be learnt later.

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language
Try to enhance your essay's complexity by varying your sentence structures and incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary. Aim for a blend of simple and complex sentence forms to demonstrate linguistic versatility.
supporting examples
Make sure your examples are specific and directly support your arguments. While you've included good examples, further detail or additional examples could strengthen your points.
paragraph development
Consider developing your paragraphs with more detailed explanations of each advantage or disadvantage. Expanding on how these experiences specifically impact academic performance or personal growth could add depth to your analysis.
task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year before university.
coherence
You've organized your essay clearly, with a coherent structure that guides the reader through your arguments.
use of examples
Use of examples, like students working economic jobs, illustrates your points effectively, making your arguments more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical life experiences
  • real-world experiences
  • personal growth
  • independence
  • academic performance
  • recharge
  • refocus
  • career exploration
  • academic momentum
  • financial implications
  • unpaid internships
  • professionally
  • self-esteem
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