Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

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It is commonly believed that wealth is the main reason for living a happy
life
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, which might be
due to
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the extensive privileges we can get from having
such
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an amount of money.
Although
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,
this
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is not the only way we can achieve an enjoyable living situation. It is undeniable that we need to have enough funds to be able to afford our basic necessities
such
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as education, a comfortable home, and clothes. The failure to provide these things will definitely impact our souls. The people who are able to successfully afford all of these will perceive their lives in a more positive light compared to others who can not.
Additionally
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, securing
such
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money
also
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provides us with the chance of having a hobby that will increase our satisfaction in
life
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.
However
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, our joy in
life
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will not always depend on how many assets we have. There are other things that are
also
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crucial,
such
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as supportive family and reliable friends. I would imagine that even if we had more than enough wealth, we would have not enjoyed our
life
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to the fullest if we could not share it with our loved ones. There are many cases of rich celebrities who experience depression and are not happy with their lives because they do not have a good support system. In conclusion,
while
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it is true that how we enjoy our lives depends on our financial situation, other things
such
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as family and friends are
also
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needed to ensure our contentment in
life
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments about happiness.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the transitions between ideas to enhance flow and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction presents a clear stance on the topic, establishing the context well.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the importance of family and friends in contributing to happiness, offering a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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