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The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012
#bar #man #woman #participants #olympics
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
two graphs provide data on the
number
 of
participants
 in the Olympics from 1924 to 2012, divided by gender and the total
number
 of
people
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 both graphs show the upward trends throughout the given period. It is
also
 worth pointing out that male
participants
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 higher than female
participants
 between 1924 and 2012. Looking at the bar graph in more detail, in 1924, the
number
 of male
participants
 showed 3000
people
,
while
 female athletes showed zero. As can be seen in the graph, the figure for men almost doubled from 3000
people
 in 1924 to 6000
people
 in 2012.
While
 the
women
Correct quantifier usage
number of women
show examples
participants
 increased sharply to just under 5000
people
 in 2012. When it comes to the total
number
 of
participants
 in the Olympics, it showed a steady rise between 1924 and 1984.
While
 the figure for
participants
 skyrocketed from 1984 to 2012. It started around 3000
people
 in 1924,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 figure for
participants
 reached a peak at 10,000
people
 in 2012.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, participants, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender ratio
  • inclusion
  • significant gap
  • gradual increase
  • key Olympics
  • notable increase
  • policy changes
  • closing gender gap
  • socio-political factors
  • feminist movements
  • gender equality
  • parity
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