Student must have roommate in college/university, but there are some problems with each other. Discuss about problems and solutions for these problems.

Nowadays, educational studies are an important and critical part of people’s carries to prepare for future jobs and earn better social places in communities.
Thus
,
students
need to continue their education in other cities and the most challenging problem they face is commotion in dormitories with new
roommates
and without their parents. One of the problems that
students
are facing with
roommates
is resting time. If
roommates
have different resting times, at least one of them suffers from sleeping
issues
. Another problem is study time. When some
roommates
are studying, others should not create harmful noises. The
last
problem is different cultural and social behaviours between
roommates
that cause
further
serious
issues
in interpersonal relationships. These problems may have different roots. The most important root is the education given by their family. Well-educated parents could train their children better for independent living and teach them life skills. Research by Dr. Smith from the University of Chicago shows that 60% of
students
in charge of problems made with flatmates
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
from families without well-educated parents. Another root is cultural differences could be made a regular behaviour from someone
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
an offensive act to another one.
This
root of trouble becomes complicated when no solutions exist to create cultural commonality. The fastest solution that universities proposed for flatmate
issues
is the creation
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
counselling office to advise and inform
students
and solve their
issues
.
This
office
also
organizes some classes on how to
treat
Wrong verb form
be treated
show examples
in a dormitory. It seems pre-training is required in earlier stages of education, so most countries add a life skill course in the middle school programs.
Finally
, I believe that the selection of and dealing with
roommates
is the first step for selecting and dealing with future partners, so I recommended teaching a course about social and cultural matters in life with someone else in earlier stages of educational programs
such
as college or high school.
Submitted by hamid.mansouri on

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specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, expanding on the research by Dr. Smith with additional details or statistical data could enhance the credibility of your points.
logical structure
Engage in more detailed planning of your essay to improve the logical flow. This includes outlining main points before writing to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
sentence variety
Consider blending in a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability and interest of your essay. Varied sentence types can make the text more dynamic and engaging for the reader.
task response
You've successfully addressed the prompt by discussing the problems of having roommates in college and proposing feasible solutions.
structure
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument.
relevance
Your essay incorporates relevant scenarios that many students can relate to, making your argument persuasive and grounded in real-life situations.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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