Some people believe that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money should be invested better in other areas. To what extent do you agree with this view?
In the contemporary discourse, there exists a
view point
asserting that authorities should use Correct your spelling
viewpoint
thier
fund Correct your spelling
their
in resolving
significant social issues rather than allocating Change preposition
to resolve
it
to the Correct pronoun usage
them
arts
. However
, I vehementaly
disagree with Correct your spelling
vehemently
this
statement as I personally hold the believe
that Replace the word
belief
arts
deserves
equal value by national leaders. I will justly my opinion in the following paragraph.
There are abundant benefits that Change the verb form
deserve
arts
brings
to the respective country. Change the verb form
bring
Firstly
, arts
plays
a crucial role Change the verb form
play
to preserve
the culture of the Change preposition
in preserving
perticular
nation by Correct your spelling
particular
the
means of varied paintings. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, there exists
many art Change the verb form
exist
galaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
preserved
Wrong verb form
preserving
a
varied Correct article usage
apply
art work
that represents the historical stories and typical culture of the nation. Correct your spelling
artwork
Secondly
, art such
as music
not
only just Add a missing verb
is not
the
source of entertainment but Correct article usage
a
also
plays a huge role in releaving
the stress in today's hectic life and gives immense calmness. To cite an example, a recent study stated that 85% of Correct your spelling
relieving
releasing
the
scientists prefer to Correct article usage
apply
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
music
in between thier experiemnts
to relax their Correct your spelling
their experiments
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
that
helps them to recharge Correct pronoun usage
which
for
doing constant trials. Change preposition
by
Last
but not the
least, Correct article usage
apply
arts
such
as music
is
Change the verb form
are
the
great contributor Correct article usage
a
in
enhancing the economy of the nation. To explain Change preposition
to
further
, there are various music
concerts run by famous singers that attracts
a large amount of Change the verb form
attract
population
and ultimately Correct article usage
the population
helps
to financially support the government. Change the verb form
help
For example
, BTS which is one of the famous Korean group
of singers Fix the agreement mistake
groups
are
popular at Change the verb form
is
global
level. A large number of fans from Add an article
the global
a global
the
each Remove the article
apply
corners
of the world buy expensive tickets and Change to a singular noun
corner
specially
go to Korea to Replace the word
especially
attain
the concert. In Verb problem
attend
this
way, country
can earn more money.
Talking about the flip side, there are some major social issues Add an article
the country
a country
such
as education,
Correct word choice
and, health
Correct article usage
the health
health care
field that Correct your spelling
healthcare
required
more attention. In that case, Wrong verb form
require
government
should understand the priority of Add an article
the government
inevisting
money in different sectors.
From a personal standpoint, Correct your spelling
investing
while
acknowledging the priority of spending money in
significant issues Change preposition
on
such
as health care and education, I lean towarsds
the view that shows equal Correct your spelling
toward
imprtance
of Correct your spelling
importance
arts
like the other sectors that not
only a major contributor Add a missing verb
are not
in
Change preposition
to
country's
revenue but Correct article usage
the country's
also
a great source of stress buster among people. Thus
, I opine that it is truly worth to
allocate funds in Correct pronoun usage
it to
arts
field by Correct article usage
the arts
Government
.Correct article usage
the Government
Submitted by margijoshi19 on
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structure
Continue to clearly structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout.
balance
Aim for a balanced argument by dedicating equal lengths and depth to both sides of the argument, especially when acknowledging contrasting viewpoints.
grammar
Enhance clarity by proofreading your work for minor grammatical and spelling errors. Although these do not significantly impact your score, they can detract from the reader's overall understanding.
examples
Continue to use specific examples to support your arguments, as this strengthens your essay's persuasiveness and relevance.
task response
Your essay successfully argues your viewpoint with a clear structure and relevant examples, effectively addressing the task's requirements.
introduction/conclusion
You provided a strong introduction and conclusion that bookend your essay, clearly stating your stance and summarizing your main points.
flow
Your essay benefits from a logical flow and connection between paragraphs, which aids in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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