Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the present society, some of them believe that paying out more money on behalf of wedding functions and birthday parties are unnecessary money-wasting activities. But some of them are believing that these are necessary social activities. I completely agree with the first statement and I am going to elaborate on both perspectives in forthcoming paragraphs.
Modern society used to celebrate their life events very unnaturally. As an example, some of them spend a lot of money on decorations for a day and pre-shoot photography, going to be bright as well useless programmes which are not suitable for their backgrounds.
For instance
, people apply loans for to invest money in them and they have to spend a whole beautiful lifetime to settle the debts. Because they think to highlight other than their relatives or well-known persons . Like a competition. On the other hand
, alcohol consumption is popular among the younger generation on their occasions and they quarrel with others harm to properties and destroy happiness. Those misused works break up social awareness.
Apart from
this
, some other people believe that life event ceremonies get- together with
each other of the family members, relatives and friends. Furthermore
, anniversaries such
as parent's golden wedding anniversary bring their children back, who live far away from home. So such
memorial events are valuable to their lives. Additionally
, human beings are sociable creatures and usual community activities are present. Due to
this
some kind of celebrations are fresh- up the social bond.
In conclusion, although
parties were necessary cultural community events in the past, in the present era they are unnecessary, as a result
of our savings destroy and misused behaviour broken
hearts of the best people.Add the auxiliary verb
broke
has broken
Submitted by amalitharangani0Most of villagers are changing their accommodations from villages to cities all around the world. As a result of this countryside residents are lower than town areas.I think this is a negative development and in this essay, I will elaborate my perspectives furthermore.
According to this situation, my take on this is, different of the facilities between the town and the village. As an example, there are lots of shopping centres in the city such as house- hold items, clothes, stationeries, vehicles and so on. Conversely, developed educational centres, schools, hospitals with enough facilities are also at the urban areas. Nevertheless, there are lots of companies and unlimited job opportunities in the city area. Also, mostly there are continuous electricity, gas,water and well planned and punctual transport system as well. So people prefer to live in comfortably and moving to cities as they possible.
Additionally, villagers and town people's have same basic need. Such as food, accommodation, education, good health and freedom as well. In some countries there is unavailable electricity in the countryside. Also, there is poor transport system, teachers and facilities at village schools. Moreover, sometimes not enough medications and human resources. So countryside people preferred to move to town. Finally, countryside population decreased and urbanisation in cities.
In a nutshell, if there is as usual same facilities all over the city and rural areas,as there is lots of freedom in the countryside . My point of view is around the world this point is most prominent in developing countries.
on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure clarity and coherence by structuring paragraphs clearly and using a variety of linking words effectively. Avoid repetition of ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your arguments further with more detailed examples and explanations to support your points. This will help in achieving a deeper and more comprehensive discussion on the topic.
Task Achievement
Consider balance in discussing both views. Ensure that you provide an equal amount of discussion for each viewpoint before stating your own opinion to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a thorough response to the prompt, including a clear opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing a solid framework for your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, which helps in the clear presentation of your arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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