Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #home #country #work #opportunities #choice

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Nowadays, many

people

decide to leave their hometowns to find more opportunities in their careers.

In contrast

, other

people

believe that settling in their own country would be a better option. The following paragraphs of

this

essay will discuss both views. Undoubtedly, finding better ways for career paths is a very important thing to do.

Therefore

, some

people

make their decision to go abroad or leave their home country for many reasons.

For instance

, it may be struggling to improve skills in individuals who live in undeveloped

countries

. Since the chances for workers to take higher positions are really tough to find.

Moreover

, if they want to improve their work and living opportunities, they should broaden their horizons by learning new things they have never learned before.

On the other hand

, some believe that

remain

Verb problem

apply

show examples

staying in their hometown would be better. It will make you feel more comfortable,

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not get homesick, and

also

be safer than living in new places that you have never lived.

Additionally

, the

countries

will have more talented citizens, resulting in a higher rate of education in

countries

push

Wrong verb form

pushing

show examples

their own country to a higher status, and

also

raising up their nations to be influence in many aspects. To summarize, both views have many advantages, the decisions depend on what ones need for their future. In my opinion, I would like to go to other

countries

because I want to widen my perspectives and look for better opportunities in life.

In addition

, to make friends with other

people

as well.

Submitted by rasita.pare on Sat May 11 2024

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Detail & Example

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, which is then further explained or supported with examples or further explanation. While your essay does provide a good overview of the topic, delving into more specific examples or scenarios could enhance clarity and impact.

Language Use

Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. While your essay has good cohesion, more complex or varied sentences could improve coherence and maintain the reader's interest.

Balanced Discussion

Your essay does a commendable job at discussing both viewpoints on the given topic, framing the debate in a balanced manner.

Structure

You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your essay effectively and summarizing your arguments in a coherent manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

professional growth
quality of life
stronger economies
employment opportunities
advancement opportunities
emotional bonds
cultural ties
familiar environment
contributing to
local economy
personal aspirations
cultural identity

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Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the age of digital communication and social media, face-to-face interactions are becoming less common. Some people think that this is decreasing people's ability to communicate well in person.

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter -Explain your situation -Describe your problems -Tell him when you think you can move in.