In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?

There is a noticeable trend among students in schools and colleges where
females
tend to gravitate towards arts
subjects
over scientific ones, unlike their male counterparts. In
this
essay, I will outline some reasons for
this
phenomenon and discuss whether
this
tendency should persist. One significant factor contributing to
this
trend is the underrepresentation of
females
in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM), where most experts are male.
This
gender
disparity creates a perception that success in these fields is primarily reserved for men, leading many girls to doubt their abilities and lose confidence in
subjects
like math and science.
For instance
, despite efforts to encourage female participation in STEM, data from various studies consistently show a lower proportion, less than 30%, of
females
pursuing careers in STEM compared to men.
This
lack of representation can discourage girls from considering STEM
subjects
as viable career options.
Conversely
, many ladies excel in creative and expressive domains, making them more inclined to choose art-related courses
such
as design and painting.
For example
, the fashion design industry and the art sector boast a significant presence of women who have achieved remarkable success in STEM, suggesting that
gender
disparities may be less pronounced in areas where creativity and expression are valued over technical proficiency.
On the other hand
,
this
situation is no longer acceptable in today's society, where discrimination based on
subjects
should be obsolete. Modern
females
are increasingly breaking barriers and achieving success in traditionally male-dominated fields.
Noticebly
Correct your spelling
Noticeably
. in 2023, statistics showed that the total number of female scientists working in STEM was 40%, with the most noticeable figure for the US being 52%, nearly doubling the share of
this
STEM workforce in 2019.
In addition
, there has been a notable increase in the number of female engineers, scientists, and entrepreneurs who have made significant contributions to the world,
such
as Wally Funk, an American aviator and astronaut, member of the Mercury 13, Marie Curie, Nobel winner in Physics and Chemistry, Kristen Marhaver, National Geographic explorer, and so on. These achievements demonstrate that
gender
should not be a determining factor in one's academic or professional pursuit choice. In conclusion,
while
societal perceptions and individual inclinations may lead women towards art courses, it's important to challenge
this
trend. By fostering an inclusive educational environment that addresses
gender
biases and provides equal opportunities, we can empower both genders to explore their interests and talents. Ultimately, we must encourage girls to pursue their passions, whether in STEM or the arts, without being limited by outdated stereotypes or societal expectations.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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reasoning
Make sure to clearly define the reasons behind the gender preferences in subject choice, emphasizing not only societal perceptions but also the potential impact of role models and educational systems. This could have strengthened the analysis.
coherence
To enhance your coherence, you could improve transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like "On another note" or "This brings us to" can help to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
balanced view
Always challenge your own argument with counterpoints. This will offer a more balanced view, demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic. For example, exploring why the arts might also be a valid and valuable career choice for males could provide a contrast to the prevailing stereotypes.
organization
You've demonstrated an excellent ability to organize the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss reasons for gender preferences in education, and a compelling conclusion that wraps up the argument.
use of examples
The essay successfully engages with relevant examples and statistics, such as the mention of female participation in STEM and notable figures, which help to substantiate the arguments made.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively reinforces the need for societal change regarding gender biases in education, thereby demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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