Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is undeniable that nowadays modernization has made

people

Use synonyms

competitive. Parents want their

children

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to be competitive in every aspect of their lives

whereas

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other

people

Use synonyms

opine that being cooperative is more effective. In the following essay, I will discuss both views & give my own opinion.

To begin

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with, at present with the advancement of modern technology world has become so fast that if you are not competitive enough,

then

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you will have to face lots of hurdles in your life. In the education and job sectors, you have to prove your proficiency to get success. As a multitude of examinations are held to hire or select the best one, a sense of competition comes automatically.

Moreover

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, it is believed that if there are competitions among the

children

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, they will be more serious to boost their knowledge. It will help them to be adaptive & more inventive in

this

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technological era.

On the other hand

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, many

people

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believe that if

children

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are taught to be

co-operative

Correct your spelling

cooperative

show examples

with each other that will help them to become more beneficial citizens. Because, when there is competition, there is jealousy as well.

For

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this

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reason at present

children

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do not have a sharing attitude. Without a sharing or helping mindset,

people

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can not bolster their proficiency & it will not be advantageous for society as well.

Finally

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, I support the latter view. In my perspective, being taught to be co-operative is more useful for the

children

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. Because with

this

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attitude, they will learn to be social & their networking skill will be escalated as well. In today's world, without networking & socialism, the youth will not be able to

be succeeded

Wrong verb form

succeed

show examples

in life.

To sum up

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, parents should teach both fair competition & co-operation to the

children

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so that they can help society in an effective way.

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Task Achievement

Work on integrating more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

To further improve, consider varying sentence structures and implementing a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and interest.

Task Achievement

Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion to fully address the task requirement.

Logical Structure

Your essay provided a well-structured argument that clearly discusses both views before stating your own opinion.

Introduction & Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion were effectively articulated, framing your essay cohesively.

Supported Main Points

You successfully supported your main points with clear explanations, contributing to a cohesive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

competitive spirit
real-world experiences
self-esteem
social skills
teamwork
empathy
communication
personal and professional relationships
personal excellence
balanced exposure
well-rounded individuals
ambitious
empathetic

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people buy unnecessary things and get into debt when they do not need them. why people who buy extra things are getting into debt and discuss possible solutions.

In many countries, people are not living longer the ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if he has more elderly people. To what extent to the advantages of having an Asian population outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.