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Band 7.5

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advances #technology #decades #improvements #people #lives
In the
last
 decades,
due to
technology
 spreading, living standards have become higher. In fact, the introduction of electronic devices,
such
 as smartphones, navigation systems and computers have brought many advantages and they led to massive improvements in
people
's lives. I strongly support
this
 opinion.
To begin
 with, great progress in medicine was made thanks to
technology
. In fact, new tools were invented and helped with diagnosis, and treatments leading to an improvement in health outcomes.
For example
, ultrasound machines give massive support during labour and delivery, helping professionals to understand how the process is going.
Furthermore
, with the invention of laptops,
people
 have the opportunity to access rapidly to news at any moment.
Thus
,
people
 become more informed and have the possibility to learn and educate themselves.
Moreover
,
people
 who live abroad or far from their families, have the opportunity to connect with them through telephones and smartphones.
In addition
, navigation systems made travelling and driving safer, since drivers don't need to look at maps anymore: they can just simply listen to their navigator, which tells them where to go.
Besides
 all of that, the advent of
technology
 is
also
 helping the local economy, connecting workers from all over the world. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
technology
 led to significant improvements in
people
's lives. Nowadays, things that once were difficult and challenging, are becoming easier day by day.
Submitted by chi63hi on

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task achievement
Consider diversifying examples to cover more aspects of daily life, such as education, entertainment, or communication.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a consistent and logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay is coherently structured, some transitions could be smoother.
task achievement
You have clearly presented your opinion and supported it with relevant points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with specific examples, such as the use of ultrasound machines and navigation systems.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge
  • innovations
  • breakthroughs
  • automation
  • AI (Artificial Intelligence)
  • mobile technologies
  • diagnostic tools
  • renewable energy
  • efficiency
  • economic growth
  • knowledge sharing
  • global scale
  • cleaner alternatives
  • job displacement
  • update skills
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