IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter * Describe the situation * Explain your problems and why it is difficult to work * Say what kind of accommodation you would prefer.

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To: The Accommodation Officer Subject: Request for Change of
Room
Use synonyms
Due to
Linking Words
 Disturbances Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my concern regarding my current
room
Use synonyms
share
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 with other students in the college hostel. But, unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 setup is challenging for me. My roommates have different lifestyles. They often play loud music and
also
Linking Words
 like to gossip late at night.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they tend to keep the light on for the full night;
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, I am unable to sleep very well. Even
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in the morning they like to sleep for a long time, and they get up around noon, which makes me unable to get up early in the morning and focus on my study and assignment. I would prefer to move into a single
room
Use synonyms
 or at least into a quieter
room
Use synonyms
. I believe
this
Linking Words
 change would greatly help me to stay focused on my studies. Thanks for considering my request. I hope you will take my situation into account and assist me in finding a new place.
your
Correct the word
yours
show examples
 sincerely, Manpreet Kaur Student no. 301451657
Room
Use synonyms
 no. 213

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task achievement
The letter provides a clear description of the situation and the problems faced, fulfilling the task requirements. Consider elaborating on specific instances or feelings to enhance your response further.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, you might want to create clearer connections between sentences and ideas, ensuring each paragraph focuses more distinctly on one aspect of your concerns.
task achievement
The letter has a polite tone and includes all necessary information, such as your request for a different accommodation and your reasoning for it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation officer
  • roommate
  • share a room
  • living arrangement
  • difficult to work
  • noise levels
  • study environment
  • privacy concerns
  • alternative accommodation
  • single room
  • academic performance
  • well-being
  • respectfully request
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