Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?
Mobile technology has become an integral part of our lives, and the existence of mobile phones, laptops and iPads has altered the way many
people
work
. While
there are distinct advantages to this
, it is important to guard against overuse and possible detrimental effects on health and relationships.
One of the biggest benefits of mobile technology is that people
no longer have to work
in an office. In fact, many businesses now permit their staff to work
from home
on some days of the week. This
Is particularly helpful for busy parents; it can reduce stress levels and help people
manage their daily lives better.For instance
, a working mother who has a toddler at home
not only can co-ordinate the responsibilities at the workplace but also
at home
, if they are given a remote work
facility.
Another benefit for many people
and businesses is that work
can continue outside the office. Phone calls can be made almost anywhere and documents can be read or written on public transport or in cafes. This
is extremely beneficial for people
who have long trips to work
.
However
, care must be taken to ensure that the convenience of ‘teleworking’ does not lead to more hours on the lob and less time spent doing exercise or being with friends and family. No one would deny that it is wonderful to be able to work
from home
, but a person who spends too much time on their computer may find that their health suffers in the long run.
Despite all these disadvantages, I personally believe that the flexibility offered by the mobile work
environment makes it a popular and accepted mode of work
in several parts of the world.Submitted by gloriasherin on
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task achievement
It's great that you discussed both the benefits and disadvantages of mobile technology for work, acknowledging the complexity of the issue. To enhance task response, ensure a more balanced discussion by expanding on the disadvantages, making your argument more nuanced.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure, with clear paragraphs and a progression of ideas. Enhancing this further could involve using a wider range of linking phrases to seamlessly connect ideas across paragraphs, ensuring a smoother read.
task achievement
When providing examples, aim for detailed, specific instances that clearly illustrate your point. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates your ability to discuss concepts in a concrete and relatable manner.
coherence cohesion
Excellent use of an introductory paragraph to set up the topic and the essay's direction.
task achievement
The benefits and disadvantages of mobile work are clearly outlined, demonstrating good task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully managed the balance between formal and engaging tone, making your essay accessible and interesting to read.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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