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Many people thought that children have to do homework in their free time. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #homework #time
It is believed by most that kids should spend their leisure time studying. I believe that it is crucial that other activities like sports and arts are given as much importance as schoolwork.
This
 essay will discuss why it is crucial for children to get involved in hobbies which do not include their lessons. First of all, an average school day typically takes up more than half of a person's day if we include the time in getting ready and commuting to and from the institution.
Therefore
, the remaining hours should not
also
 be given towards the same task.
For instance
, some refreshing sports
such
 as swimming, football,
athletics
Correct word choice
and athletics
show examples
 can be introduced which will not only enhance the cognitive development of an adolescent but
also
 ensure mind and body fitness.
In addition
, there are multiple resources where arts and literature can be explored
such
 as a public library where they host various events consisting of arts and crafts, historical artifacts, competitions on reading and whatnot. Participating in
such
 enriching acts will provide an individual with interpersonal skills and allow them to develop new creative ideas which can not be extracted from textbooks. An example of the result can be the different projects that students come up with during a science fair.
To conclude
,
while
 studies and homework are crucial in a school kid's growth, there are several other things that
also
 contribute to the physical and mental upbringing of a person. These other sides of the world outside of the school should definitely be explored
along with
 institutional lessons.
Submitted by samihareza14 on

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coherence cohesion
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Including more diversified examples from different contexts could further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulated your view effectively, showcasing your ability to present and summarise your arguments concisely.
task achievement
Your essay discussed relevant examples to support the main points, demonstrating good understanding and ability to apply the topic in real-life contexts.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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