Some children start school when they are seven years old, while others start at the age of four.what could be the advantages and disadvantages of starting school very early.

Nowadays, numerous pupils start
school
at the
age
of seven,
while
others start when they are 4 years old.
While
there are some drawbacks to
this
idea, I consider that its benefits can outshine its disadvantages.
This
essay will discuss both sides. On one hand, there are several benefits of starting
school
at the
age
of
four
.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that the most effective time to gain knowledge is at an early
age
such
as
four
. It might influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
to distinguish between bad or good behaviours
due to
easy understanding in childhood.
Moreover
, after their preparation for primary
school
, they can feel more confident and aware of their
school
life or
school
curriculum.
For instance
, children who start
school
at the
age
of
four
might obtain some information about basic counting in math.
Therefore
, it can help them when they start their mathematics lessons in primary
school
.
As a result
, starting
school
at
age
4 might have some positive effects on
students
'
school
life.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks to
this
idea. Starting
school
at an
age
early can lead
students
to be weary when they start
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
university or even high
school
. It can shape their behaviours very effectively because of the interaction among young kids.
Therefore
, it might cause children to learn wicked behaviours from their friends who spend most of their time together so easily because they might not be able to understand which attitudes are wrong or convenient.
For example
,in foundation courses for primary
school
, young boys can fight among themselves without being aware of bad habits, so it can lead the other
students
to fight each other.
Therefore
, they can gain bad habits from their
school
friends at
age
four
much easier than the older ages.
To sum up
, learning bad attitudes in
school
can be easier when they start
school
at
age
four
. In conclusion, some parents prefer their offspring to start
school
when they are seven years old,
while
others think they should start at the
age
of
four
. From my perspective, despite the fact that there are some disadvantages to
this
idea, I don't think that they are as important as
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
benefits.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Detail Enhancement
Be sure to provide specific examples to support every point you make. While you did give a general example about young boys fighting, more specific, detailed examples could further strengthen your argument.
Clarity and Precision
Review the use of phrases and idiomatic language to ensure clarity and precision. For instance, 'it might influence on students to distinguish between bad or good behaviours' could be more clear and direct.
Grammatical Range
Consider varying your sentence structures further to demonstrate a wide range of grammatical structures, this will add sophistication to your writing.
Structure
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Balance
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence
Your overall argument is coherent, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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