IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and charts show how it was distributed. summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and charts show how it was distributed. summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data provides information about the law enforcement budget in an unknown region of Britain in the years 2017 and 2018. The table demonstrates the source of
this
Linking Words
monetarily
Change the adverb
monetary
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 support, as the pie charts illustrate the
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 made out of these
fundings
Replace the word
funds
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most amount of money was donated by the national government of the area
while
Linking Words
 the hugest proportion of
this
Linking Words
 budget
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been spent on officers' and workers' salaries. Regarding the sources, the government contributed 175.5 and 177.8
Use synonyms
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 euros to
police
Add an article
the police
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 department in 2017 and 2018 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, local taxes have paid for a relatively lower sum of money
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the government in 2017, but it managed to increase increase around 10
Use synonyms
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 euros in the following year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
further
Linking Words
 38
Use synonyms
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 euros have been raised by other sources
such
Linking Words
 as grants which managed to excel only half a
Use synonyms
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2018. In conclusion, a total of 304.7 in 2017 and 318.6
Use synonyms
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2018 have been put together from all
contributers
Correct your spelling
contributors
.
While
Linking Words
 an enormous amount of money was dedicated to salaries in 2017, it slightly decreased the year after
for
Change preposition
by
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 about 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The second most funded purpose was building and transport plans which
have
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
exprienced
Correct your spelling
experience
 any fluctuations throughout the survey.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, technology
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
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 soared to 14 from 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in just a year.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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