“Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.”
Whether the dwindling proportion of the flora and fauna is of utmost importance compared to other environmental issues or not is a crucial subject of public concern and debate.
Although
the devastating influences of the loss of particular species of plants and animals are inevitable, I will argue that there are more essential barriers being
in need of Unnecessary verb
apply
approperiate
solutions as soon as possible.
There is a widely held view that the conservation of wildlife including all the live species is assumed to be a Correct your spelling
appropriate
significance
that all the authorities have to pay attentionReplace the word
significant
, and
even more Change preposition
to, and
that
other environmental problems. To clarify, individuals hold the view that Correct your spelling
than
this
factor will bring about some further
consequences. The chief one
might be the unavoidable role of plants in the production of oxygen,
Correct word choice
and, likewise
likewise
, its value in the food industries. Additionally
, the animals are alleged to be considered as a main part of ecosystem
in which we are. Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
Thus
, their extinction will root
in our health and food obstacles.
Environmental issues, Add a missing verb
be root
on the other hand
, are various on account of the fact that we as humankind have reformed nature entirely to benefit from that. It is believed that there are much
more vital problems with regard to Mother Nature, Correct quantifier usage
many
one
of which is air pollution. On a daily basis, we have been confronted with this
barrier for many years since the industrial revolution
. Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
This
factor have
some long-lasting drawbacks Change the verb form
has
on
humanity and more importantly wildlife. Change preposition
for
In addition
, not only does it have triggered several effects on our life
directly, but Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
it will contaminate some natural resources as well. To illustrate, water contamination and acid rains
are some of the detrimental points of that.
In conclusion, I argued that there is a common belief about the vital and widespread impact of decreasing amount of plants and animals on the environment and Fix the agreement mistake
rain
the
Correct article usage
apply
humen
being, Correct your spelling
human
while
it is not to be the most pevital
Correct your spelling
pivotal
vital
one
as well as
addressing the more dangerous one
.Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on
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Grammar
Ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. For instance, 'flora and fauna is' should be 'flora and fauna are', and 'in need of approperiate solutions' could be 'in need of appropriate solutions'.
Supporting Details
Increase specificity and clarity in examples and arguments to strengthen your essay. For example, detailing how air pollution directly impacts both humans and wildlife could make your argument more persuasive.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and engagement. Mixing complex and simple sentences can make your writing more dynamic.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirement.
Organization
Good use of paragraphing to structure arguments on different views, aiding coherence and cohesion.