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Band 7.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #schools #outweigh
According to
 experts’ viewpoint, there are a plethora of benefits for young individuals to scrutinize new
languages
 at an early age,
for instance
 at primary
school
 rather than secondary
school
.
This
 essay will attempt to investigate both views positive and negative of above mentioned perspectives and
then
 I will present my own offer.
To begin
, some specialists provide considerable arguments in favour of the above-mentioned theory related to children’s ability to learn
languages
 in the early period of their lives. So, it is statistically justified by researchers that the juvenile’s brain may sharply absorb and learn a majority of new information in primary
school
 rather than in later periods of education.
Furthermore
, there are a variety of positive sides to learning new
languages
 for babies.
For instance
, by learning
languages
, babies have the opportunity to communicate fluently in a few
languages
 in secondary
school
 and have a majority of new friends.
Secondly
, as can be supposed by other societies, there are some detrimental effects of
this
 trend, which are essential for presentation. As a matter of fact, it might be a great challenge at the beginning of young kids’ lives to master some
languages
,
due to
 the fact that some
languages
 are complicated for youngsters.
Moreover
, in order to be precise,
this
 is no secret that sometimes older people may not come over to some
languages
.
As a consequence
, some individuals prefer to be more careful with their babies and consider that
this
 process of language studying should be launched during the period of secondary
school
 education. In summary, both sides have constructive arguments to justify their viewpoints.
However
, I kindly consider that it depends on the babies’ ability. Indeed, our society ought to give chance and opportunity for our young generation to explore the up-to-date world and attain new knowledge at an early age, including language learning.
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a well-structured argument, articulating both sides of the argument effectively, followed by a clear personal stance in the conclusion. You could enhance your essay by grounding your argument in more specific examples to strengthen your case.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your connectives and transitioning phrases to create a smoother flow between ideas. This will make your essay even more engaging to read.
task achievement
Be cautious with overgeneralizations (e.g., 'babies can learn languages') and clarify terminology for precision and accuracy. This will ensure your argument remains clear and focused throughout.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully established a logical structure, clearly demarcated by the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in reader comprehension.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by examining advantages and disadvantages before concluding, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The language used is generally appropriate and varies in complexity, showing a good level of language control.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Brain plasticity
  • Multicultural awareness
  • Curriculum
  • Globalization
  • Proficiency
  • Linguistic skills
  • Academic performance
  • Mother tongue
  • Bilingualism
  • Foreign language acquisition
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