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Writing Samples
Band 7

What are the advantages and disadvantages while living in cities carry out them and give your opinion

#cities
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In
this
 rapidly progressing universe, the majority of
people
 prefer to live in
cities
 in order to attain a higher standard of living and enhance their social status, so the migration of individuals from their native
places
 to urban areas is found to be a usual activity.
Although
 there are numerous
advantages
 to living in
cities
, there are
also
 several demerits that have to be taken into consideration. In
this
 essay, I intend to discuss both the pros and cons of living in
cities
 and carry them out.
To begin
 with, in recent days, it has been seen that the trend of
people
 relocating from their native
places
 to
cities
 has immensely palpitated.
For instance
,mainly youngsters who are in search of jobs and better opportunities come here to dig their fortunes. As we know,
cities
 are the
places
 where the majority of multinational companies are located,
as well as
 various job sectors available;
therefore
, the probability of acquiring a high-profile occupation would be higher in
cities
 than in other
places
. To elaborate, families who are shifting to urban areas have the mindset that settling in a city would be beneficial for their children's future.
For instance
, because
cities
 consist of supremely standard educational institutions, schools, and academic centres, the quality of education that students acquire would be top-notch, and lots of sports academies are there in
cities
, which will produce a bunch of sportspeople in the future.
Further
,
although
 there are
advantages
 to city life, several demerits would be taken into consideration.
Firstly
,
due to
 the relocation of
people
 to urban areas,the population would increase gradually.
As a result
,the unemployment rate would rise
accordingly
, and the lives of
people
 would be in trouble, so pollution would arise
consequently
, which may lead to various diseases, namely bronchitis and asthma. All things considered,
although
 living in
cities
 has
advantages
, the disadvantages outweigh the
advantages
. Urban life provides plenty of opportunities for
people
 to upgrade their lives, but they should be aware of their own mental
as well as
 physical health.
Submitted by pranavravi95 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your essay position. A more direct statement of your view in the introduction would enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages by providing more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Transition smoothly between topics. Use a variety of linking words to enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Review and possibly streamline your sentences for clarity and impact, avoiding overly complex or convoluted structures.
task achievement
You provided a well-structured argument, discussing both sides before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of examples to illustrate your points, particularly regarding the advantages of city life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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