It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

In the 21st century, online marketing has developed in
such
a way that it can serve people with almost every accessory they need in day-to-day life.
However
, large retail
shops
are earning better revenues, some local stores cannot compete with them. Because of
this
, villagers will find it difficult to sell their products as individuals try to purchase from online platforms. To overcome these issues, modern technology should be introduced to rural communities by the government. There is no doubt that it has been a difficult challenge for villagers to compete with big companies which have special workers to handle online marketing.
Although
products in the local
shops
often have good quality, insufficient promotions have not led to their earning decreasing.
As a result
of
this
many stores in the countryside are being closed now.
Hence
, people who live near will face a lot of difficulties in finding their commodities. Finding answers to
this
burden problem is crucial to serve the community equally whether they live in cities or villages. The government can provide technical support for local outlets persuading them to adopt current trends in their business fields.
For instance
, financial support can be given to people to purchase electronic items namely laptops to incorporate modern practices when it comes to promotions.
Thus
, local outlets will gain the strength to compete with popular supermarkets. In conclusion,
due to
the recently opened online
shops
by famous companies, small
shops
tend to give up their efforts.
Therefore
, authorities need to help these innocent citizens by providing sufficient donations to enter into the competent business field.
Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider enhancing the specificity of your examples to fortify your argument. The mention of how modern technology and governmental support could aid is a strong point, yet more concrete examples or success stories could further persuade the reader.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to link ideas more seamlessly from one paragraph to the next. Using transitional phrases can bridge the gap between discussing the problem and introducing potential solutions.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, providing a clear viewpoint and relevant suggestions for improving the situation of local shops.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, effectively framing your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!