Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It is said that, nowadays, the differences between countries are decreasing, as purchasing a product is possible all around the world.
While
some people claim that some advantages are associated with the present trend, I believe the main drawbacks, which will be discussed, are more substantial. On the one hand, in my view, a potential benefit is that tourists,
as well as
people who are considering immigrating, may face fewer challenges than they used to. To elaborate, they have easy access to what they need;
thus
, they find it easy to get used to living in the host countries, which not only can increase their standards of living but
also
may bring peace of mind.
Moreover
, these people no longer have to waste a sizeable amount of money to find an alternative for the goods they have been using.
On the other hand
, a primary drawback is that transporting goods from one country to another can lead to environmental issues.
This
is because most vehicles, ships, and aeroplanes consume fossil fuels, which produce exhaust fumes, releasing carbon dioxide. In
this
regard, research findings predict that if governments do not enforce strict international laws to ban
such
trends, global warming
as well as
the extinction of endangered species will be accelerated, extreme weather events will become more common, and serious health problems will become prevalent. On balance, in my perspective, it is true that the accessibility of products all around the world may seem advantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my opinion, its negative effects in terms of damaging the environment and wildlife habitats override its positives.
Submitted by marzie.ghasemi98 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion which effectively outline your argument. However, to enhance coherence, consider linking your ideas more explicitly and integrating more cohesive devices.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view and address both sides of the argument, but to improve task achievement, aim to enhance the specificity and relevancy of your examples. Sourcing more concrete and varied illustrations could strengthen your argumentation.
Logical Structure
Well-structured argument, with clear differentiation between supporting points and opposing views. This organization aids the reader's understanding and engagement.
Introduction and Conclusion
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your perspective. This encapsulation helps readers anticipate and reflect on your argument.
Supported Main Points
Solid main points are provided, and although you could enrich your essay with more detailed examples, the points you make are relevant to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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