In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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It seems that in some nations there is a dramatic rise in individuals` average weight yet a decline in their levels of health and fitness. I aim to identify the sources of

this

Linking Words

issue

as well as

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some viable solutions to it. There must be some reasons why

people

Use synonyms

are becoming obese and not in good shape. Chief among these causes is the advent of social media which leads

People

Use synonyms

to sit and spend long hours scrolling on their smartphones, leading to health problems

such

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as obesity and heart disease. Another contributing factor is that they do not adhere to a healthy diet. Not only a considerable increase in junk food restaurants and related charming advertisements but

also

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its convenience

draw

Correct subject-verb agreement

draws

show examples

people

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`s attention. Take SnapFood as a salient example, food will be in front of their door immediately by merely sending a message.

Subcequently

Correct your spelling

Subsequently

, the more fast food and greasy dishes

people

Use synonyms

consume, the less healthy and more overweight they will become, resulting in detrimental consequences. In order to resolve

this

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, I believe we must first address its root causes and they should be taken into consideration by individuals

as well as

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the government. Individuals should be responsible for their healthiness

for instance

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by joining sports clubs, doing regular exercise, and

also

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avoiding harmful meals ;

however

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, it is easier said than done.

Furthermore

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, the government should tackle

this

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issue by encouraging

people

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to participate in outdoor activities entailing cycling and collaborative competitions and

also

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by providing them with public equipment and free clubs, mitigating economic concerns associated with sports. By way of conclusion, it is absurd that some

people

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turn a blind eye

into

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show examples

their weight and fitness. The causes should be taken into account by both individuals and the government to create a healthier lifestyle.

ieltsacademic77Tue Nov 05 2024

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task response

Your essay provides a clear response to the task with an introduction and conclusion. However, try to include more specific examples and details to support each argument.

coherence

The logical flow of the essay can be improved by using more transition words and ensuring that each paragraph naturally leads to the next. This will enhance the overall readability of your essay.

cohesion

While the main points are mostly supported, strive for clearer connections between ideas. Expanding on why solutions are effective or needed can increase the clarity and depth of your response.

structure

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a well-rounded response to the task.

analysis

You have identified several key factors contributing to the issue, which is commendable. This shows good analysis of the topic.

examples

Examples such as mentioning SnapFood highlight your point effectively, making your argument more relatable and concrete.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
obesity
overweight
physical activity
sedentary lifestyle
exercise
unhealthy diet
fast food
urbanization
modernization
stress
awareness
education
government intervention
policies
promotion
sports
fitness programs
health education
taxation
public transportation
infrastructure
parks
recreational spaces

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

Many cities are replacing cars with bicycles. What are the reasons for this? Which do you think is better?

In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?