Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

In the contemporary era, there is an ongoing debate

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

students should enhance their co-operativeness by participating in any

competition

or win-at-all-cost.

This

essay will explain both statements with reasons and examples.

To begin

with, taking part in any challenges regularly would be a chance to understand their drawbacks and things to learn in the future.

Furthermore

, "Hard work always pays off, whatever you do" said Dustin Lynch

also

should be mentioned because as I said above, children will

be succeeded

Wrong verb form

succeed

show examples

in any factors by challenging themselves in competitions and seeing what they are good and bad at.

For instance

, my best friend has improved her intelligence in physics after taking part in a physics

competition

On the other hand

, a majority of people believe that a group of individuals with

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

senses

Fix the agreement mistake

sense

show examples

co-operation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

show examples

always become the best ones in the workplaces or universities because they know how to compete, debate , and even the methods to lead others in a team so that they can work properly with professors and people around them.

For instance

, my brother, who has never attended any

competition

, is really good at making new friends with a diversity of interests.

On the other hand

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, I always take part in every

competition

and have become more introverted than my brother because I have been focusing on fewer things.

To sum up

, even though co-operation is always more powerful than

competition

Add an article

the competition

show examples

competition

also

has a specific stance as co-operation in

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of people.

Submitted by nazim200709 on Mon May 13 2024

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task response

Make sure to clearly state your own opinion in the conclusion to fulfill the task requirement fully.

coherence and cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures and use a range of linking words to enhance coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Adding a more detailed conclusion that summarizes both views and clearly states your own opinion would strengthen your argument.

task response

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views nicely.

coherence and cohesion

Effective use of examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?