Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extand do you agree or disagree?

It is widely trusted that schools should allow enlistment to learn from films,
computers
and games
instead
of bills. Personally, at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
can say agree and disagree since there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of reasons. Pedagogies should teach from
computers
, games and films at school because it will be more interesting compared to other methods for kids.
Such
as: In the USA teachers have been given knowledge from
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and other captivating things since my childhood so their population is more smart in comparison with my country's people. Now not all people
however
zillions of young generations are not interested in science not only science
however
other ologys too. So masters have to accustom
from
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to
show examples
computers
, games and movies afterwards children will start
captivating
Wrong verb form
captivated
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to that subjects.
On the other hand
, in my point of view guys without straying from the book.
Firstly
in the
book
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book,
show examples
there are many different types of
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
than
computers
and other things. If people read
book
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books
show examples
, admission to improve their focus, memory and interpreting data skills.
This
is because reading forces pupils to use more cognitive skills, encourages their thought process and expands their memory.
As a result
of
this
, enlistments have higher chances of succeeding when learning considering the beneficial skills.
Secondly
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Secondly,
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certain information is only available in charge and documentaries.
For instance
, some historical quotes and stories are only documented in
report
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the report
a report
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.
Therefore
,
statement
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statements
show examples
allow
recruitments
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recruitment
show examples
to have access to a more diverse range of information. In conclusion,
although
many suggested that learning using films and online software is more effective,
i
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I
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am convinced that the benefits of reports still play a crucial role in the academic field.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Introduction
Consider beginning with a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question, presenting your thesis statement on whether you agree or disagree, to enhance clarity and directness of your argument.
Coherence
To improve coherence, try to clearly connect your ideas within and between paragraphs using a range of linking words and cohesive devices.
Language Accuracy
Increase the precision and accuracy of your language by reducing spelling, grammar, and terminological errors, which can undermine your argument's clarity.
Supporting Examples
Use more specific examples to directly support your points. This can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Critical Thinking
You've shown an ability to engage with both sides of the argument, which reflects well on your critical thinking skills.
Content Coverage
Your essay addresses a broad range of points, indicating a good attempt to cover the topic comprehensively.

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