Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that spending time watching

sports

Use synonyms

in their spare time is not a beneficial thing, it is like wasting time.

However

Linking Words

, I opposite to

this

Linking Words

statement for several reasons.

To begin

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with, I believe that

people

Use synonyms

need to alleviate their stress by doing something they love.

For example

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, one of the activities that one can do is watching

sports

Use synonyms

, like football or basketball matches. To illustrate, if we watch a football match in a big stadium, we not only enjoy the match but

also

Linking Words

can express our feelings. In there, we

also

Linking Words

can shout loudly during the match, especially when our favourite team can score a goal or even win the match. Because of that activity, I believe that it can help us release our emotions or bad feelings by shouting.

On the other hand

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, watching

sports

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in public areas enables

people

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to have the opportunity to meet with new

people

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or communities.

Thus

Linking Words

, it means that we not only add the number of our friends but

also

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expand our networking in order to get some benefits to our career or even business life.

For instance

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, sometimes, when we socialize with new friends who have the same hobby, it will be easier for us to discuss something

focusly

Correct your spelling

focused

focus

and widely.

Consequently

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, we can talk

deeper

Replace the word

deeply

show examples

about a specific topic related to our

worklife

Correct your spelling

work

To sum up

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, watching

sports

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can give benefits not only for releasing our stress but

also

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for expanding our networking. Because of them,

therefore

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, I remain firmly convinced that doing that activity can be an essential activity in our lives.

dika2024Mon May 13 2024

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Introduction Clarity

Try to provide a more distinct introduction by clearly stating your opinion from the onset, which can engage the reader more directly.

Conclusion Strength

In your conclusion, strive to concisely summarize your main points, reinforcing the thesis without introducing new information.

Linking Usage and Variety

Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly and enhance the overall flow of your essay. This could include synonym usage and more complex linking phrases.

Supportive Examples

Effective use of examples to support your viewpoints, making your arguments more compelling.

Logical Structure and Flow

You've done a great job creating a logical and well-structured argument that guides the reader through your points seamlessly.

Coherent Conclusion

Your conclusion ties back to the introduction, effectively wrapping up the essay, which shows good organizational skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

communal unity
stress relief
economic impact
sedentary lifestyle
emotional investment
teamwork
discipline
healthier lifestyle
fantasy sports
interactive experience
leisure activities
personal development

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Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?