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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development?

#people #ages #parts #world #time #home #development
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A group of people claim that individuals of all ages from specific global regions prefer to spend much more time at
home
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instead
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 of going out. From my point of view,
this
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 approach is completely incorrect for the community.
This
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 essay will discuss whether spending time at
home
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 is beneficial for people or not. First of all, in the contemporary world, several people are likely to stay away from movable actions; because of that, they prefer to be at
home
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, just sitting and dealing with something.
Nevertheless
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, being out is one of the most essential factors today. The particular reason for that,
for instance
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, is that taking a breath or socializing with individuals plays a key role in our development.
Also
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, it is clearly seen that if we spend most of our time outside, we can adapt to outside life and basically overcome a lot of difficulties.
In addition
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, if we are outside, it means that we can have a nice day by doing our favourite activities.
Hence
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, outside life is excessively important for us to be successful or to grow.
Secondly
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, it is undeniable that being outside is as crucial as being at
home
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. The primary reason for
this
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 approach is that we figure out that at
home
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, we can deal with a lot of hilarious and advantageous things.
For instance
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, watching Netflix movies, playing online games or reading books can be considered one of the most interesting
home
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 activities. The second important reason is that at
home
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, we can feel safe and comfortable.
However
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,on the outside, there can be some dangerous accidents that could make us feel anxious or worse.
To sum up
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, I reckon that both of them are crucial for society of all ages.
Nonetheless
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, being at
home
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 could be thought of as much more secure than being outside.
Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on

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task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider including more specific examples that support your arguments. This will strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure and progression of ideas. To further improve, make sure each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next with appropriate transitional phrases.
task achievement
To fully cover the task, ensure you discuss both why people might prefer staying indoors and explore the positive and negative aspects of this trend in depth.
task achievement
Your essay effectively presents a clear position throughout, maintaining a balanced discussion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay and the presence of an introduction and conclusion contribute positively to its coherence and cohesion.
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