Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvanatges of being self-employed?

In contemporary society, work-life balance has consistently been a topic of interest among the masses. One prevailing view is that many
people
changed their work statuses to self-employed recently.
While
there are compelling arguments in favour of
this
perspective, there are
also
significant reasons to approach it with scepticism.
This
essay will explain the phenomenon and discuss the disadvantages of
this
trend.
It is clear that
we are now living in a digital world,
due to
the improvement of the internet and social media
such
as YouTube shorts and Instagram reels, more and more
people
are trying to become influencers online. The trend and the thriving industry encourage
people
to establish self-studio and be the boss of themselves.
Moreover
, in 2020, the whole world suffered in the pandemic of Covid-19. Through the tough times, the public started to learn how to work from home and still be productive. The freedom of
time
and the feeling of staying in the comfort zone let
people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not want to go back to the office and change to become self-employed. Obviously, being self-employed means that
people
can spend more
time
at home and accompany their parents or children. The freedom of not going to an office and not needing to reply to any requests begging from annoying managers can increase one's happiness and energy, and even give
people
a chance to fulfil
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
dream that may not have the opportunity and
time
to start.
However
, the aforementioned perspective overlooks the disadvantages
such
as the instability of salary and the depressed feeling of not interacting with other colleagues. What is more, the more
time
the family members stay together the more quarrels will happen. The worries of not having enough money for a quality life can even be a point of having a fight between couples.
Such
mentions challenge the initial assertion and suggest that there are numerous defects of being a self-worker. In my opinion,
although
the advantages of being self-employed might not outweigh the disadvantages, the joy of freedom and satisfaction of attempting to fulfil one's dream can make the sacrifice of a high-quality life worth it. In conclusion, the phenomenon of the statement that many
people
become self-employed is because
people
can realize the dream of work-life balance and the benefits of being self-employed are more attractive than the disadvantage
such
as the instability of the amount of salary.
Therefore
my allegiance that being a self-worker is a modern trend is steadfastly and remains incontroversitly firm.
Submitted by jasmine2001tw on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Consider creating distinct paragraphs for each main point to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop main points further by providing more specific and relevant examples to support arguments.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. Aim to restate your thesis more clearly and provide a summary of your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
To achieve a more complete response to the task, ensure that all parts of the question are addressed fully, with a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion.
task achievement
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas by organizing the content into a series of logical points, avoiding repetition and ensuring that arguments flow naturally from one to another.
task achievement
Include more precise examples to support your points. The examples given should clearly relate to the main idea of the paragraph and contribute to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • entrepreneurship
  • flexibility
  • autonomy
  • job satisfaction
  • financial incentives
  • digital nomad
  • unpredictable income
  • networking
  • risk-taking
  • benefits
  • work-life balance
  • overhead costs
  • professional independence
  • market competition
  • burnout
  • sole proprietorship
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