Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country. Others think that they should live in a separate minority group with different lifestyle. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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It is an undeniable fact that the public is migrating from one native to another to seek a better lifestyle.

However

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, some nations think that it would be sufficient if they tried to adopt the culture where they moved but others have the opposite view.In

this

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essay,I will discuss both views in the ensuing paragraphs

along with

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a logical conclusion. To embark on,there are numerous positive effects on folks to absorb new cultures and traditions.The primary one is that, it could assist them to learn about distinctive cultural values.To explain it,it reflects the population to enhance their understanding

while

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they agreed on the consumption of that particular culture where they migrate for their purposes.

Consequently

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this

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approach could encourage natives to become respectful of different native beliefs.

Secondly

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, it would be beneficial for the community to survive better if they believe in the new homey's ethical values.

This

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makes it easier for society to work and study because they can understand everything if they already adopted and learned the way how that

provincial

Correct article usage

the provincial

show examples

crowd indulged themselves.

However

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this

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trend has its negative sides that cannot be neglected.

This

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statement can separate them from their own country's traditions like it should be imperative for one's country native to be attached to their ancestors that would help them to stay in touch with their family backgrounds.

Moreover

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, it

also

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creates obstacles for new countries where people migrate because

while

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they are trying to persuade their lifestyles

then

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they have arguments on different issues

as a result

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this

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contributes to a debatable environment which is not acceptable at all. In conclusion,

although

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the adoption of new cultures is relevant for people to complete their studies and work it should be heppen under proper guidelines that do not badly impact the agrarian or natives who consume.

kaurbhagwant95Mon May 13 2024

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Vocabulary

Strive to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and to enhance the sophistication of your argument.

Grammar

Work on sentence structure to improve clarity and readability, varying sentence types and lengths for better flow.

Content

Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the persuasiveness and depth of your discussion.

Organization

Ensure a clear and logical organization of paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea, supported by explanations or examples.

Balance

Good job discussing both views on the topic, providing a balanced and thoughtful analysis.

Structure

Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, helping to make your position clear to the reader.

Coherence

You demonstrated a good ability to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay, with logical progression of ideas.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

assimilate
social cohesion
integration
navigating the job market
cultural preservation
sense of belonging
heritage
multiculturalism
cultural landscape
support network
transition
multicultural society
mutual respect
cultural identity

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