Some people believe that team sports prepare children for their future careers while others do not agree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #team #sports #children #future #careers

Some individuals think that

sports

clubs provide opportunities for careers to

kids

but other

people

do not agree with

this

idea. I am personally okay with

this

.Because

children

get lots of experiences from their childhood and they have more options to make decisions for their future life.

To begin

with

people

’s positive points of view, these places can help

children

to find their favourites and get new experiences. If team

sports

become reliable, parents can encourage their

kids

to set a clear goal and make an effort to improve in their favourite field.

For example

, an original football club can guide

children

to try the different atmospheres of competition and be prepared for important matches. These elements can help

children

to see their fortune with full of hope. In my opinion, I support

this

idea because not only

children

can learn how to explore and find their passion but

also

they can expand their connections much better than before.

Nevertheless

, other groups of

people

believe that the existence of

sports

clubs causes

children

not to study their lessons and get low scores in school because

kids

spend most of their time training and playing with their peers and they do not have enough time to do their homework.So, it may interfere with their lesson. In conclusion, there is an argument between two different groups of

people

who agree and disagree with the existence of team

sports

that can affect

children

’s future careers.Some

people

think

kids

can find their career path but other groups disagree with

this

idea.

Submitted by brightstargalaxy on Mon May 13 2024

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Specific Examples

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments in each paragraph. While you've discussed the potential benefits of team sports on children's future careers, including real-life examples or statistics would make your argument more convincing.

Balance of Argument

Ensure to address both sides of the argument evenly. You've presented both views, but expanding on why some believe team sports might negatively impact academic performance with further detail could enhance balance.

Clear Thesis

Consider refining your introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your thesis and summarizing the main points more explicitly. This will make your standpoint and the essay structure more coherent to the reader.

Grammar & Sentence Structure

Check for grammatical inconsistencies and aim for more varied sentence structures to improve the sophistication of your writing. This will also help in making your essay more engaging and fluid.

Understanding of Topic

You've effectively recognized and discussed both perspectives on the influence of team sports on children's future careers, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay topic.

Logical Flow

You managed to maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay, which helps in keeping the reader engaged and following your arguments easily.

Personal Insight

Your personal stance is clear and provides a thoughtful insight, adding depth to your discussion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that team sports prepare children for their future careers while others do not agree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.