Some people believe that team sports prepare children for their future careers while others do not agree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #team #sports #children #future #careers

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Some individuals think that

sports

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clubs provide opportunities for careers to

kids

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but other

people

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do not agree with

this

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idea. I am personally okay with

this

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.Because

children

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get lots of experiences from their childhood and they have more options to make decisions for their future life.

To begin

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with

people

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’s positive points of view, these places can help

children

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to find their favourites and get new experiences. If team

sports

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become reliable, parents can encourage their

kids

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to set a clear goal and make an effort to improve in their favourite field.

For example

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, an original football club can guide

children

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to try the different atmospheres of competition and be prepared for important matches. These elements can help

children

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to see their fortune with full of hope. In my opinion, I support

this

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idea because not only

children

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can learn how to explore and find their passion but

also

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they can expand their connections much better than before.

Nevertheless

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, other groups of

people

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believe that the existence of

sports

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clubs causes

children

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not to study their lessons and get low scores in school because

kids

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spend most of their time training and playing with their peers and they do not have enough time to do their homework.So, it may interfere with their lesson. In conclusion, there is an argument between two different groups of

people

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who agree and disagree with the existence of team

sports

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that can affect

children

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’s future careers.Some

people

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think

kids

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can find their career path but other groups disagree with

this

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idea.

Submitted by brightstargalaxy on Mon May 13 2024

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Specific Examples

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments in each paragraph. While you've discussed the potential benefits of team sports on children's future careers, including real-life examples or statistics would make your argument more convincing.

Balance of Argument

Ensure to address both sides of the argument evenly. You've presented both views, but expanding on why some believe team sports might negatively impact academic performance with further detail could enhance balance.

Clear Thesis

Consider refining your introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your thesis and summarizing the main points more explicitly. This will make your standpoint and the essay structure more coherent to the reader.

Grammar & Sentence Structure

Check for grammatical inconsistencies and aim for more varied sentence structures to improve the sophistication of your writing. This will also help in making your essay more engaging and fluid.

Understanding of Topic

You've effectively recognized and discussed both perspectives on the influence of team sports on children's future careers, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay topic.

Logical Flow

You managed to maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay, which helps in keeping the reader engaged and following your arguments easily.

Personal Insight

Your personal stance is clear and provides a thoughtful insight, adding depth to your discussion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people believe that team sports prepare children for their future careers while others do not agree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years,that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam.how true do you think this statement is?what measures can government to to discourage people from using their cars

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, more and more local shops are closing down because so many people now shop online. What problems might this cause? What is the best way to deal with this problem?

Topic: More people today prefer to live alone in comparison to the past. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development . Give your opinion and relevant examples to support your views.