In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?
During the
last
years
more and more Add a comma
years,
people
are travelling globally by plane. From my point of view, one
of the main reasons for this
is the fact that airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
became
more accessible for almost everyone, and it benefited them a lot. In Wrong verb form
have become
this
essay, I will give reasons why airplanes
became so popular among Change the spelling
aeroplanes
people
, and why it is beneficial for them.
One
chief reason for this
is the fact that airplanes
are way more affordable for people
, nowadays. And people
can easily buy tickets and travel
in order to rest after months of hard work. The second reason is probably related to numerous international events that happen all over the world. And in order to visit them people
travel
throughout the world. There are a lot of events for both entertainment and career purposes, the latter one
is mostly for students.
This
trips are quite beneficial for Change the determiner
These
people
because they can widen their outlook by exploring various kinds of cultures, languages and so on. Also
, it is worth mentioning that travelling helps people
make network
throughout the world and Correct article usage
a network
this
is quite beneficial for them, too. However
, there is one
major drawback of using air travel
Remove the redundancy
apply
travel
, and this
is the fact that more greenhouse gas emissions are produced this
way. Therefore
, it can lead to global warming.
To sum up
, during last
few decades an increasing number Correct article usage
the last
are
Wrong verb form
have been
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
through
air. Change preposition
by
This
probably happened because ticket prices for airplanes
became quite affordable for Change the spelling
aeroplanes
people
. And thanks to international travelling people
became
more cultured and their outlook is wider.Wrong verb form
have become
Submitted by Ayan on
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Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This could involve mentioning specific events, trends in ticket prices, or statistical data related to global air travel. This would help to strengthen your argument and make your points more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows a good logical structure and coherence. To further improve, consider linking sentences more explicitly to show the relationship between ideas. Phrases like "Furthermore," "Consequently," or "In addition to" could help to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing a clear overview of your argument.
Task Achievement
You successfully addressed the essay prompt, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas on why global air travel has increased and its benefits.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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