In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are diffrent from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In today's modernized era, the type of
food
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
changed over time and definitely what the offspring eat now
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not as some as what their parents had.
However
,
this
leads us to pose a pivotal question,
deos
Correct your spelling
does
this
phenomenon have any detrimental impact on
children
's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
? From my perspective, I firmly believe that
this
development will cause several unwanted consequences for both
children
and adults. Nowadays, the huge amount of fast
food
as well as
froozen
Correct your spelling
frozen
meals that become a significant part of our eating habits is the root cause of many illnesses.
On
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In
show examples
other words, individuals are suffering from numerous health problems that become common
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
diabetes, obesity, and heart attack after following the new system. One
marevllous
Correct your spelling
marvellous
illustration of
this
is
children
's obesity number
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
escalated substantially after the usage of delivery meals that contain unhealthy fats and
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
has increased.
In addition
, the new habits
not
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do not
did not
show examples
just affect our physical health but
also
our mental ones. Previously, people were eating a considerable amount of fresh and organic
food
which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
rich with
vitamines
Correct your spelling
vitamins
show examples
and other elements in
comperison
Correct your spelling
comparison
with our current ones.
For instance
, we now tend to purchase
froozen prepired
Correct your spelling
frozen prepared
meals and
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
the tendency to buy fruit or any other natural things. Broadly, the more fast
food
we have in our day, the worse brain we will have. In conclusion, As we have seen, today's
children
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children's
show examples
lifestyle in terms of eatable
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
is anything but positive.
However
, I hold the opinion that both governments and homes ought to be
accountble
Correct your spelling
accountable
for what young individuals decide to eat.
Submitted by a.awh05 on

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Spelling and Grammar
Be careful with spelling and grammar mistakes, such as 'have been changed' instead of 'has been changed', 'deos' instead of 'does', and 'suger' instead of 'sugar'. These errors can affect the clarity of your ideas.
Paragraphing
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Task Response
The essay addresses the topic well and provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing both the eating habits and lifestyle of children as well as the impact on their health.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each part of the essay supports the overall argument.
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