IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people want to buy brands with clothes ,cars and other items.What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The
Correct article usage
An
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 increasing number of individuals have the desire to purchase branded attires,vehicles and other things .The most prominent factor behind
this
Linking Words
 is to show social
status
Use synonyms
 and riches.In my perspective,it is a negative progress because it is totally a waste of
money
Use synonyms
. To commence with,nowadays,everyone wants to maintain a
standrad
Correct your spelling
standard
 of living which should represent their richness.To elaborate ,financially well-off persons always have an illusion in their minds that only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
costly
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
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such
Linking Words
 as expensive outfits ,cars
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
watches etcetera are the symbols of showing a high
status
Use synonyms
 in
society
Use synonyms
,so without owning these stuffs ,they could be thought
as
Change preposition
of as
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 poor.
For example
Linking Words
,in the present
society
Use synonyms
,almost 80% of the population has the latest version of
Correct article usage
the iphone
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iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 which is the most expensive brand of
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phone
show examples
 and shows that the owner of
this
Linking Words
 version must have an abundance of
money
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,wearing or owning the branded material is the easiest way to boast of people's
money
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. Probing ahead ,the trend of buying the brands has a detrimental effect on
society
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 because individuals waste
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on the things which are not necessary .To explain it, there are some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 who do not earn
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
 to buy branded stuff, so they take
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
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 from banks to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expensive objects or
oufits
Correct your spelling
outfits
.At
Linking Words
last
Add a comma
last,
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 they have to bear the
consequenses
Correct your spelling
consequences
 of not paying the debt.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,
according to
Linking Words
 an
artical
Correct your spelling
article
 published in a newspaper ,50% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in India have their own
luxirious
Correct your spelling
luxurious
 cars but on EMIs ,
therefore
Linking Words
 ,they pay for
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 almost
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 of their life just to have high
status
Use synonyms
 in
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 branded objects are symbols of good
status
Use synonyms
 for the majority of people , they lead some
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 people
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 huge debt as they are not worthy to buy them.
Hence
Linking Words
, they
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a negative impact on most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals.

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task achievement
While your essay adequately addresses both parts of the task, ensure that your reasons and examples are more comprehensive and detailed. Aim for a balanced discussion on both reasons for purchasing brands and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, but occasionally transitions between ideas can be smoother to enhance the overall logical flow. Use linking words and phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Additionally' for better cohesion.
lexical resource
While your vocabulary is appropriate, incorporating a wider range of synonyms and advanced words will improve your essay. For example, you can use 'affluent' instead of 'financially well-off' and 'prestigious' instead of 'expensive' to demonstrate lexical variety.
grammar
Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and article usage ('a', 'an', 'the'). Minor grammatical mistakes can affect the clarity of your essay. An example is 'an article' instead of 'an artical.'
task achievement
You effectively identify and explain the reasons why people want to buy branded clothes, cars, and other items, and provide a clear position on its negative impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and well-supported with relevant examples, which helps in making your argument coherent and persuasive.
lexical resource
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate word choices like 'illusion,' 'boast,' and 'luxurious,' which help convey your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Conspicuous consumption
  • Brand loyalty
  • Elitism
  • Marketing strategies
  • Consumer psychology
  • Purchase behavior
  • Economic stratification
  • Sustainability
  • Luxury goods
  • Peer influence
  • Global marketing
  • Brand equity
  • Materialistic values
  • Status symbol
  • Quality perception
  • Investment piece
  • Influencer culture
  • Exclusivity
What to do next:
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