More and more people want to buy brands with clothes ,cars and other items.What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
The
increasing number of individuals have the desire to purchase branded attires,vehicles and other things .The most prominent factor behind Correct article usage
An
this
is to show social status
and riches.In my perspective,it is a negative progress because it is totally a waste of money
.
To commence with,nowadays,everyone wants to maintain a standrad
of living which should represent their richness.To elaborate ,financially well-off persons always have an illusion in their minds that only Correct your spelling
standard
the
costly Correct article usage
apply
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
such
as expensive outfits ,cars or
watches etcetera are the symbols of showing a high Correct word choice
apply
status
in society
,so without owning these stuffs ,they could be thought as
poor.Change preposition
of as
For example
,in the present society
,almost 80% of the population has the latest version of Correct article usage
the iphone
iphone
which is the most expensive brand of Correct your spelling
iPhone
cellphones
and shows that the owner of Correct your spelling
cell phone
this
version must have an abundance of money
.Therefore
,wearing or owning the branded material is the easiest way to boast of people's money
.
Probing ahead ,the trend of buying the brands has a detrimental effect on society
because individuals waste alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
money
on the things which are not necessary .To explain it, there are some persons
who do not earn Replace the word
people
enogh
to buy branded stuff, so they take Correct your spelling
enough
loan
from banks to buy Fix the agreement mistake
loans
the
expensive objects or Correct article usage
apply
oufits
.At Correct your spelling
outfits
last
they have to bear the Add a comma
last,
consequenses
of not paying the debt.Correct your spelling
consequences
For instance
, according to
an artical
published in a newspaper ,50% of Correct your spelling
article
population
in India have their own Add an article
the population
luxirious
cars but on EMIs ,Correct your spelling
luxurious
therefore
,they pay for it
almost Correct pronoun usage
them
whole
of their life just to have high Correct article usage
the whole
status
in society
.
In conclusion, although
branded objects are symbols of good status
for the majority of people , they lead some middle class
people Add a hyphen
middle-class
in
huge debt as they are not worthy to buy them.Change preposition
into
Hence
, they put
a negative impact on most Verb problem
have
of
Change preposition
apply
the
individuals.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
While your essay adequately addresses both parts of the task, ensure that your reasons and examples are more comprehensive and detailed. Aim for a balanced discussion on both reasons for purchasing brands and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, but occasionally transitions between ideas can be smoother to enhance the overall logical flow. Use linking words and phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Additionally' for better cohesion.
lexical resource
While your vocabulary is appropriate, incorporating a wider range of synonyms and advanced words will improve your essay. For example, you can use 'affluent' instead of 'financially well-off' and 'prestigious' instead of 'expensive' to demonstrate lexical variety.
grammar
Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and article usage ('a', 'an', 'the'). Minor grammatical mistakes can affect the clarity of your essay. An example is 'an article' instead of 'an artical.'
task achievement
You effectively identify and explain the reasons why people want to buy branded clothes, cars, and other items, and provide a clear position on its negative impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and well-supported with relevant examples, which helps in making your argument coherent and persuasive.
lexical resource
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate word choices like 'illusion,' 'boast,' and 'luxurious,' which help convey your points effectively.