Social media sites have allowed individuals to connect with each other, share their experiences, and express their opinions. However, possible employers can also access these pages when making a hiring decision. Do you think information shared on a social media site should be taken into account when hiring people?

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Nowadays, with a noteworthy development of social
network
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systems, certain
companies
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are under consideration to hire workers related to their social media
sites
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. Some people contend that
this
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could have a positive influence on various aspects,
while
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others believe that
this
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could lead to adverse consequences.
First,
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social
network
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sites
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are considered as a
space
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where individuals reveal themselves the most. Looking at their platforms thoroughly, the
companies
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can get their personal information including their personalities, tendencies, and attitudes.
Hence
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, they can make sure that
this
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person can mingle with other coworkers and fit in the business.
For instance
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,
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
department prefers extrovert people as the work requires to convince their potential buyers to purchase their products. If one candidate’s social
network
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space
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shows that she seems very social and confident, the company would review her resume positively.
On the other hand
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, if another one’s
space
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reveals a lot of insults toward certain celebrities or antisocial behaviours, the company can prevent from undergoing potentially terrible situations related to the one in advance. In spite of its merit mentioned above,
however
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, it can have negative impacts.
To begin
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with, these days, people utilize their
space
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to keep in contact and share their updates. But if
this
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situation becomes conventional, potential employees will not upload their conditions on their social
network
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sites
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in case
companies
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spy on their pictures or writings.
Thus
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,
this
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could disconnect relationships with their friends and families.
Consequently
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, their freedom to upload whatever on their personal
sites
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is invaded.
This
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could lead to a serious social problem. Eventually, no one will use those platforms in the future. In conclusion, it seems to me the phenomenon’s risks far outweigh its benefits, owing to the reasons described above.
Therefore
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, I consider
companies
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taking into account social media
sites
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when they hire workers is not acceptable.
Submitted by mirea0124 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your points more logically. For instance, discuss all pros first and then cons, or vice versa, so that each section of your essay has a clear focus.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the issue and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which lays a good foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion clearly states your stance on the issue and ties back to the reasons discussed in the essay, providing a cohesive ending.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the sales department preference for extroverts, which makes the argument more relatable.
general linguistic performance
Your grammar and vocabulary are generally strong, with only minor errors that do not affect overall comprehension.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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