Social media sites have allowed individuals to connect with each other, share their experiences, and express their opinions. However, possible employers can also access these pages when making a hiring decision. Do you think information shared on a social media site should be taken into account when hiring people?

Nowadays, with a noteworthy development of social
network
systems, certain
companies
are under consideration to hire workers related to their social media
sites
. Some people contend that
this
could have a positive influence on various aspects,
while
others believe that
this
could lead to adverse consequences.
First,
social
network
sites
are considered as a
space
where individuals reveal themselves the most. Looking at their platforms thoroughly, the
companies
can get their personal information including their personalities, tendencies, and attitudes.
Hence
, they can make sure that
this
person can mingle with other coworkers and fit in the business.
For instance
,
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
department prefers extrovert people as the work requires to convince their potential buyers to purchase their products. If one candidate’s social
network
space
shows that she seems very social and confident, the company would review her resume positively.
On the other hand
, if another one’s
space
reveals a lot of insults toward certain celebrities or antisocial behaviours, the company can prevent from undergoing potentially terrible situations related to the one in advance. In spite of its merit mentioned above,
however
, it can have negative impacts.
To begin
with, these days, people utilize their
space
to keep in contact and share their updates. But if
this
situation becomes conventional, potential employees will not upload their conditions on their social
network
sites
in case
companies
spy on their pictures or writings.
Thus
,
this
could disconnect relationships with their friends and families.
Consequently
, their freedom to upload whatever on their personal
sites
is invaded.
This
could lead to a serious social problem. Eventually, no one will use those platforms in the future. In conclusion, it seems to me the phenomenon’s risks far outweigh its benefits, owing to the reasons described above.
Therefore
, I consider
companies
taking into account social media
sites
when they hire workers is not acceptable.
Submitted by mirea0124 on

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Ensure that all the main points in each paragraph are fully developed. Sometimes, the ideas presented are not explored in depth, which slightly affects the clarity and comprehensiveness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your points more logically. For instance, discuss all pros first and then cons, or vice versa, so that each section of your essay has a clear focus.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the issue and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which lays a good foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion clearly states your stance on the issue and ties back to the reasons discussed in the essay, providing a cohesive ending.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the sales department preference for extroverts, which makes the argument more relatable.
general linguistic performance
Your grammar and vocabulary are generally strong, with only minor errors that do not affect overall comprehension.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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