In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are diffrent from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #habits #lifestyle #children #diffrent #generations #people #effect #health

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It is thought by some people that eating habits and

lifestyle

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in these modern days bring the negative effects on

children

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health

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more than in the past. In

this

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essay,

this

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matter will be discussed before reaching my opinion.

To begin

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with, it is true that youngsters'

health

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worsens

due to

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their eating habits and

lifestyle

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Firstly

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, there are a lot of new fast food shops which provide a variety of unhealthy diets for

children

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For example

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, new junk food restaurants sell hamburgers, fries and desserts that contain numerous bad fats and high amounts of sugar. These mentioned affect the

health

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children

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directly

as well as

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causing obesity and diabetes.

Secondly

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, the emergence of technology leads to the inactive

lifestyle

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of the younger generations. They spend most of the day focusing on electronic devices

such

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as computers or smartphones because they have

many

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apply

show examples

attractive content.

Thus

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, sitting or lying on their beds or couches all day makes them become out of shape and weaker.

Additionally

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although

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youths' behaviours have changed from the past, they still offer advantages. At

first,

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there are a lot of new healthy restaurants settling in around cities as it is the new trend in modern society. Many of them serve only healthy food or salads

such

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as Sizzlers.

Hence

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, youngsters are now spoilt for choices to choose which shops they would go to and enjoy.

Next,

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the use of technology

also

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helps

children

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to socialise and interact with their friends easily. They can invite their friends to do some exciting activities together,

for instance

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, climbing which will make them become stronger and stay fit,

besides

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, maintaining their mental

health

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. All in all, even if some people think the new eating habits and

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lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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offer negative effects on the younger generations. I strongly disagree with

this

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matter, it depends on kids' decision whether they need to stay healthy or keep themselves fit or not.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Tue May 14 2024

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introduction

The introduction could be more concise and clearly state your stance. Instead of saying 'this matter will be discussed before reaching my opinion,' directly state your viewpoint to give the reader a clear idea of your position.

coherence

Enhance your transitions between paragraphs. For example, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother. You might use phrases like 'On the other hand' to indicate a contrast.

examples

Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. While you mentioned 'new healthy restaurants settling in around cities,' giving a specific example of one of these restaurants would strengthen your argument.

arguments

The main points are clearly stated and supported with reasonable arguments.

structure

The essay structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and restates your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are diffrent from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that children should only read academic book. Other believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, there is shortage of housing due to growing population. Some people argue that new towns should be built in the country side, others argue for the regeneration of cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of building new towns in the country?

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?