The charts below show one government's spending on culture and education in 1995 and 2005 and the number of people participating in arts events in the same years.

The charts below show one government's spending on culture and education in 1995 and 2005 and the number of people participating in arts events in the same years.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts compare proportional garments pending in terms of
arts
in 1995 and 2005. The table compares the number of
people
in terms of participation in
arts
events.
Overall
, the highest expenditure from the government was
literature
,
whereas
the most participating field by
people
was
music
. As pie charts show, in both years, the government spent the most on
literature
.
While
in 1995, spending on theatre was mediocre, in 2005,
this
figure was expanded. Even though in 1995 the least-spent field was
music
, in 2005 its index became equal to the visual
arts
index. Regarding the table, the most
people
participated in
music
at 120,000 in 1995,
whereas
the least participated in
literature
at 10,000. In 1995,
while
the theatre figure was 70,000, the visual
arts
index was 5,000. By 2005, the most
people
took part in
music
events at $150,000,
whereas
the most
people
took part in
literature
at 25,000. The participants in theatre and visual
arts
were 95,000 and 14,000, respectively.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words arts, people, literature, music with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: