Children’s behavior in schools is getting worse than before. Explain the causes and effects of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.
Nowadays,
children
’s manners at school
are worse than past. I believe exploring the causes of this
problem can assist in finding suitable solutions to resolve it.
Increasing an only-child trend could partly account for changing children
’s behaviours
. These days as a result
of a hectic lifestyle, there is not ample time
for treating children
. Therefore
, parents prefer to have only one child. Then
, if all considerations in families were allocated to one child, these children
would expect these treatments in schools. This
method leads to becoming sensitive and expecting every person to meet their need on time
although
it would not happen at schools in future. So they are showing bad behaviour in educational institutes.This
change to bad manners stems from changing media content
. Broadcast content
plays a vital role in children
's behaviours
and changing role models. In past, having followed movies and programs with suitable content
, such
as, hardworking, trustworthy being modest are key points of the movie named “A Girl In The Farm”, but, nowadays, children
are spending time
playing video games and are prone to some enormous violence, it can influence their manner gradually. Then
, worse behaviours
were shown at school
by children
.
Parents should register offspring in different pieces of training merely for them before going to a
Correct article usage
apply
school
. These trains provide information and materials. In addition
, children
can spend some time
with expert tutors. As a result
of these programs, they learn suitable behaviours
for preparing for school
.In addition
, Governments should pass some laws
for media and game providers. These laws
should restrict these groups to their contents for people who are at an early age. For instance
, some special psychologists should admit these contents in order to release them in the market. Due to
these laws
are more likely to change suitable and efficient contact for video games.
To conclude
, even though increasing only child trends and changes in media content
contribute to changing children
’s behaviours
, parents and governments can remedy this
situation. In my opinion, holding educational programs before going to school
and some laws
and legislation are steps in the right direction.Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to structure your essay more clearly by breaking up long paragraphs into smaller ones. This will make your points easier to follow and understand.
Task Achievement
Make sure each main point is fully supported with clear examples and detailed explanations. For instance, you could provide a more specific example of how hectic lifestyles lead parents to have only one child.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid using complex sentences excessively; they can sometimes obscure your main points. Aim for clarity and simplicity in your writing.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples or case studies for your points about media influence and parental roles. Specific examples will make your arguments more convincing and easier to relate to.
Task Achievement
You've successfully identified key factors contributing to worsening children's behavior, such as hectic lifestyles and media influence.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which nicely frame your arguments.
Task Achievement and Coherence
The solutions you proposed are practical and directly address the issues raised.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...