IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000.

The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000.
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The supplied pie chart indicates the amount of
money
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 which was spent in the budget on various parts by the United Arab Emirates government in 2000. A glance at the graph reveals that
,
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apply
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UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
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 spent more
money
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in
Change preposition
on
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 social security and health and personal services than other services like law and order transport and industry etc. Nearly half of the budget was spent on health,personal services and
also
Linking Words
 social security,respectively 53
billion
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 and 100
billion
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 in UAE in 2000.(Which was the highest
money
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 in that year).
moreover
Linking Words
,just over a third of
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money
Add an article
the money
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 was invested
for
Change preposition
in
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 education roughly 38
billion
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 in UAE IN 2000. The United Arab Emirates did not prefer to invest the budget in some sections like transport,law and order,housing,heritage and environment and they comprised a tiny fraction.
similary
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Similarly
, following parts like Defence,education and other
expenditure
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expenditures
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 included small
proporation
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corporations
 like 17billion for law and order and 13
billion
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 for industry,agriculture and employment.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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