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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #results #surveys #visit #two #periods
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The given tables
compares
Change the verb form
compare
show examples
 the satisfactory results from the survey done at the Ashdown
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 before and after renovation. From the figures it can be predicted that a lot of good changes
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 occurred as a whooping figure
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 very satisfied visitors can be seen and per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
dissatisified
Correct your spelling
dissatisfied
 has reduced to 5.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that before refurbishment 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 rated it as very satisfied but a year after renovation the
figured
Replace the word
figure
show examples
 doubled and people were highly satisfied same can be seen with satisfied customers almost
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
show examples
 increased by 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
. A great change
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be noticed is the reduction in the bad reviews
dissatisfied
Correct word choice
and dissatisfied
show examples
 visitors reduced to 15% from 40%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people who were highly unsatisfied dropped by 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and the number of visitors who gave no response remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be evaluated that a positive change can be seen in reviews after refurbishment.
Submitted by sananayyab91 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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