Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Children

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nowadays spend most of their day attached to their smartphones. The cause of

this

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issue

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is the development of the smartphone’s technology and its features. Adults

also

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have parts on

this

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issue

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because they

also

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invest most of their

time

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on smartphones from doing the primary tasks to the hardest task of their day. As for my thoughts on

this

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issue

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, I think that spending most of a child’s

time

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on a

phone

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refers to a negative direction. I personally can’t say that adults don’t have any involvement in

this

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issue

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because I personally, as an early adult, spend most of my

time

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on my

phone

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This

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simply has a reason because phones are helping people to do their

labors

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labor

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more easily and instantly

just

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with just

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apply

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one click. The thing is,

children

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most of the

time

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observe the environment around them, especially

adult’s

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adults’

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behavior

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behaviour

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and habits. The other cause of

this

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issue

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is that there’s so much that interests

children

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on the

phone

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, and on the internet particularly. The entertainment that the internet offers for

the

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apply

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children

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is a strong magnet for them to get attached to it.

This

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issue

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causes many negative things to the

children

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For example

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, if they have to do something, they will force the adults to give them what they want beforehand, which is

their

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the

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phone

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that they are addicted to. It will

also

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have a big impact on their development especially when it comes to socializing, we all can see now that in-person socializing decreased because we can do most of our daily activities on our gadgets. The other negative thing is that if we're talking about their health, their eyes will get sick from spending too much

time

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on the screen. In conclusion, being modernized by using smartphones on

children

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isn’t necessarily wrong, but we, as an adult, have to supervise their screen

time

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for

their

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our

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own good. Abandoning them to be on their phones is

also

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not a very good thing to do for their development, but giving them all the screen

time

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that they want is just going to have a negative impact on them which is addictions and health problems.

Submitted by Selectnames on Tue May 14 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task response, provide more specific examples to support your points. Incorporate evidence such as studies or statistics to back your arguments, which will make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Structure your essay better by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports the overall argument. Use topic sentences effectively to guide the reader through your points.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your writing. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to achieve this.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear stance on whether the development is positive or negative, which is good for task achievement.

task achievement

You have addressed both why children spend a lot of time on smartphones and the impacts of this behavior, fulfilling the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion, which is a strong point for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

When researching people's personalities and abilities, scientists debate the role that their biological genes play compared to the impact of their environment, including their experiences as they grow up. Which do you think is a more powerful influence– genetics or environment? Why?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Most adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50persent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extend do you agree?