IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

In the past, people ate local food in season, but nowadays, people can buy a variety of food from all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh it disadvantages?

#people #food #season #variety #world #development
in the old days, society used to eat seasonal
food
usualy
Correct your spelling
usually
 from the
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
, nowadays society can get to eat
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of kinds of
food
 not only from
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
, but
also
 from far places, and yes the
benifts
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more than someone can
imagen
Verb problem
imagine
show examples
. In the
beganing
Correct your spelling
beginning
, when we can get
food
 from even far
placec
Correct your spelling
places
place
 that
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 we can enjoy
food
 that can't be getting
unlesss
Correct your spelling
unless
show examples
 we travel far to get the
expermint
Correct your spelling
experience
. but now we
lucky
Add a missing verb
are lucky
show examples
 that someone can get any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
food
 in his city,
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 example people
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
show examples
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in the middle of
Correct article usage
a disert
show examples
disert
Correct your spelling
desert
 in Riyadh now can enjoy eating yummy fresh fish, sushi, steak as well, and so and so.
To sum up
, the
belifrage
Correct your spelling
belief
 of getting lots of
food
 kinds nowadays
poeople
Correct your spelling
people
 can get is
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
adds
Correct pronoun usage
that adds
show examples
 up as a
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 and for sure we
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be
gratfull
Correct your spelling
grateful
 for
such
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
things.
Submitted by suliman.kariri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity. For example, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles.
task achievement
Develop more comprehensive points and support them with detailed explanations or examples. For instance, you could elaborate on both the advantages and disadvantages of having access to international foods.
general
Ensure your introduction more clearly outlines the structure of your essay and that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have clearly stated that the benefits of the development outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
The essay includes real-life examples, such as people in Riyadh enjoying various types of food, which shows some engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: