Some people believe that a person's intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss both views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence.
For many years , the
intelligence
and brain
capabilities of humans have been subjects of debate . While
many people claim that the human brain
potential is purely genetic , others think that many factors may primarily influence intellectual capacity such
as the environment . I firmly believe that although
the level of smartness is mainly inherited, the environment can play an integral role in maintaining or declining this
ability .
On the one hand , genetic research has been done in order to collect certain data about how the human brain
works , especially to understand the differentiation in intelligence
quotient . experiments have shown that there are huge differences between individuals' IQ levels. These results
made scientists more curious about this
dissimilarity. So , further
experiments have been made on parents just to discover that many individuals who scored highly on their IQ test appeared to have one or both of their parents' smartness . As a result
, it was evident that kids are more likely to inherit genes which are responsible for their intelligence
.
On the other hand
, scientists who disagreed with the previous results
decided to navigate deeper into these outcomes . Furthermore
, many experiments were conducted on university students in their first year , and another test was made two years later . The results
were surprising as 30% of the students showed a significant rise in their intellectual capabilities. Their brain
scan revealed improvement in their "neuron plasticity " which is the part of the brain
responsible for intelligence
. Those students were actively using mathematics and other subjects that require focus and problem-solving skills . Thus
, results
showed that it is possible for people to improve their level of intelligence
using many external approaches .
To conclude
, although
many people are born gifted with high intelligence
abilities . Science has proved that it is not impossible to become smarter after getting older . I believe that genes alone are not enough to sustain this
gift , other environmental factors have major participation in maintaining IQ.Submitted by doingnunita12 on
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task achievement
To enhance task response, make sure to clearly address all parts of the prompt, discussing both genetic and environmental impacts equally before concluding. You did this well, but make sure each point is evenly balanced for even clearer communication.
coherence cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next. Your essay generally flows well, but occasionally logical connections between points could be made more explicit with connectors or signpost language.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly stating both viewpoints on the topic.
supported main points
The essay uses scientific research examples effectively to support the points made, especially in illustrating how intelligence is inherited and how environment plays a role.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly wraps up the argument, acknowledging both the importance of genes and the environment in shaping intelligence, thereby summarizing the overall stance clearly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example