Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
A lot of museums receive costs from
people
for visiting, however
, some of them don`t do this
. In my opinion, all of them should be on the same level for some reasons which, I will mention in this
essay.
Some people
know that culture, history and traditions are so important and necessary for every single country, also
, these days just a few of
Change preposition
apply
people
do some activities to keep this
importance valuable, like visiting the historical places like museums. I think this
idea of collecting money teaches all the
society Correct article usage
apply
to know
how is Verb problem
apply
valuable
to visit museums because everyone thinks that, good things not only are free but Correct word choice
apply
also
are so
expensive.
Verb problem
apply
In addition
, by improving the internet everybody, especially teenagers are
going towards a side where Correct subject-verb agreement
is
is
just sitting at their home and scrolling their Instagram, for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
group of people
is better to not pay any cost for this
type of activity .This
can cause them to spend their time knowing about their history and culture. This
matter can help them to know about their past life.
All in all, being free in these places it`s a must to be more popular than past, this
is a big issue for every culture and we need to solve it as soon as possible.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic and states your opinion clearly. However, it's important to directly address whether the advantages of charging for museum admission outweigh the disadvantages. This will help in better fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
You have presented several points, but they need clearer explanation and support with specific details or examples to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but there are a few areas where your points could be better developed. For example, you mention that visiting museums can be valuable for teenagers but do not provide concrete examples or scenarios to illustrate this point.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay could be improved by clearly separating the advantages and disadvantages into distinct paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be stronger. Summarize your main points and clearly restate your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'In addition,' and 'For example' to improve the flow of your essay and link your ideas more cohesively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic by discussing the importance of museums and their impact on society, which is relevant and interesting.
coherence cohesion
Your writing shows a good understanding of the topic and attempts to explore different aspects of museum admission fees.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated the ability to form logical arguments and present your opinion clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.