some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recently, there have been growing concerns about teenage

criminals

. As an answer to

this

issue, some

people

have claimed that young

people

should be punished in the same ways as

adults

This

is true;

however

, I personally disagree with

this

statement because teenagers are able to be improved.

Firstly

, teenagers are too young to recognize bad

crimes

. They are more immature and inexperienced than

adults

so they cannot realise how their acts will negatively affect others. I understand that without being taught about morality, they could not acknowledge serious

crimes

For instance

, if guardians

such

as parents or teachers have never taught their

children

about robbing,

children

will likely take friends' things just because they look attractive. They couldn't imagine why it was a crime.

Hence

, I suggest that since

children

lack of ability to judge

crimes

, we should give them chances to realize morality themselves.

Moreover

, if we put harsh

punishments

adults

children

will lose their self-confidence. Having strong

punishments

, young

people

will be discouraged from improving their lives.

For example

, it is hard for them to get a job or go to University because they are marked as

criminals

which has many restrictions on living. Another concern is that our society can miss intelligent individuals by giving

punishments

. Giving limitations on

people

who were punished before, those

people

cannot show their abilities even if they are genius about something.

Therefore

, I believe we should improve programs for young

criminals

to develop their abilities rather than just punishing them. In conclusion, I firmly disagree that young

criminals

should be punished harshly like

adults

because

this

can hinder them from improving their capabilities and they are too young to judge their behaviours. For these reasons, I think,

instead

of providing

punishments

, we need to assist young

people

to prevent serious

crimes

Submitted by kchengii on Wed May 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your introduction is clear and sets the context of your argument well. However, you could strengthen it by briefly outlining the main points that you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

The essay is mostly clear and coherent, but occasionally the sentences are a bit awkward. Try to vary your sentence structure and use more complex sentences to improve the flow.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your points, but be sure to explain your examples fully to show exactly how they relate to your main argument.

coherence cohesion

Transitions are used effectively, but make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to improve cohesion.

task achievement

Your argument is well-reasoned and you address both sides of the issue effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which is very important for clarity.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?
Generally, the public read daily jounals (imtahanda səhv yazmışam) to find out about the world's current affairs and they read magazines to be entertained. At the present, newpapers and magazines getting wider popularity by featuring private activity of celebrities. They are presenting the silliest part of their being to the most personal aspects which is sometimes disturbing. I personally believe that it is not noble to expose someone's personal life in newspapers.
4.5
band
Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?
In many metro cities public transports are encouraged to use instead of private vehicles to pramote vehicle - free days. This act leads to many advantages such as the environment and the healthbenefits, moreover, it become promotion to public transportation faicilities of the city. While
6.5
band
Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities. In order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter • describe what you like about the library • say what you don’t like • make suggestions for improvements.
I am a resident of Watline Avenue and a regular visitor to the library in this neighborhood. I am writing this letter in response to your notice regarding the positive thoughts you have asked from its users to enhance the services of this facility.
5
band
Some people say history as one of the important school subjects, other people think that today’s world, subjects like science and technology or more in Porten than history discuss both of use and give your opinion.
Some people believe that history subjects are less important than another lesson such as science and technology.In my opinion, both of them are significant for all students to educate.
4.5
band
Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration
While exploring the universe and gaining more knowledge about the outer world expands our vision and can become beneficial, it also comes with massive require of funding which has a noticeable effect on tax increase for the public. I will discuss both pros and cons of dedicating funding to this matter further more. On the one hand, space exploration and related studies can enhance a country’s young population rate by becoming an immigration destination for the ones interested. These activities will create job opportunities, especially for the young generation. Also, for the government, it can bring more power and global respect, and put a massive impact on the desirable outcomes throughout political negotiations, as well as creating a strong image of the country's influence generally. On the other hand, the raise that will definitely happen in tax deposits cannot be denied and to be more specific, it can cause further difficulties for the population. One of the major problems of thi...

some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

Some people say history as one of the important school subjects, other people think that today’s world, subjects like science and technology or more in Porten than history discuss both of use and give your opinion.

Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration