IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in many countries, goverment are interesting in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? do you think this is an approriate use of goverment money?

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In the age of technology, most
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contemporary
governments
Use synonyms
 of nations
perfect using
Wrong verb form
use
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 technical types of equipment to improve the quality of level life, both their facilities and mental health. technology is becoming more all-pervasive in
this
Linking Words
 modern world than ever before. It has a great impact on the
government
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as well as
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 the people.
This
Linking Words
 writer will explain more following the essay. First and firmest,The
pandemic
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 has thrown a spotlight on diversity, equity, and inclusion. As
governments
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 moved services online during the
pandemic
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, it became critical to improve digital
access
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.
Moreover
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,
government
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 leaders are reimagining social care programs to improve the delivery of services and drive greater impact in disadvantaged communities
such
Linking Words
 as more and more apps
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 created for customers all over the world to reduce disadvantage during
at
Change preposition
apply
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COVID-19 disease.
For example
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, 40% of the global population still lacks internet
access
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.
Governments
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 are acutely aware that inadequate
access
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 to digital connectivity and tools could mean billions of constituents being left out of the broader digitization movement. In response,
governments
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 are improving digital
access
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—availability, affordability, and adoption to bridge the digital divide. They are
also
Linking Words
 redesigning digital platforms, ecosystems, and infrastructure to help disadvantaged populations
access
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 services and social care. education in the present day plays an important role in
civilied
Correct your spelling
civil
 society, it
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 taken care of by the national union that why they spend money on it. Remote work, virtual classes, and telehealth represent just a few of the ways
governments
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 used digital tools to respond to the COVID-19
pandemic
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.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 brought forth the digital divide and equity issue.
Besides
Linking Words
 that accelerated
Legacy
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 Modernization
governments
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 have experienced the limitations and risks posed by decades-old
legacy
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 infrastructure and core systems. To be better equipped to deal with the next disruption,
government
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 CIOs are accelerating the move to modern, modular architectures.
While
Linking Words
 the need for
legacy
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 modernization is not new to
government
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 CIOs, the challenges related to the
pandemic
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 have only served to heighten the awareness of the resulting risks and the need for it. Gartner predicts that by 2025, over 50% of
government
Use synonyms
 agencies will have modernized critical core
legacy
Use synonyms
 applications to improve resilience and agility. In conclusion, the
government
Use synonyms
 nowadays
investing
Wrong verb form
invests
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 in digital production to improve the quality of human living and reduce the cost of living in each
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of cities. they must balance between the benefits and drawbacks of the technological era to use money the right way.

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clear introduction that succinctly states the question and outlines the main points to be discussed. This will help provide a better structure to the essay.
task achievement
Some of the main points are not well-supported with relevant and specific examples. Provide concrete examples or evidence to better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point, adequately supported by evidence or examples, and that the essay follows a logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed and providing a clear answer to the essay question.
language
There are several grammatical and syntactical errors that affect readability. Pay attention to these errors and proofread your essay to minimize them.
task achievement
The essay addresses a relevant and timely topic, discussing the government's adoption of technology in public services.
task achievement
The writer attempts to provide examples and explain the impact of technology on society during the pandemic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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